..:Shadow~Saint:..

2007-11-11T03:42:00.000+08:00

Haha..talking to Simin right now. Just suddenly just wanted to listen to Landy Wen's song. Haha. Thought of how the Cedar gang in tuition is doing.

Haha. Then the urge to look back into the past. But I resisted to urge to go to my archives.

--

Had supper with Sylvia, Shermaine, Brother Fabian, Chek Yao, Mari...(cant remember the name), Eric and one more guy. Haha. Had our usual sharing of revelations and walks. The usuals. As of usual, it encourages me as usual. I really treasure the fellowship I am able to have with them.

As I always put it, it's a special bond I have with them, next to, or perhaps even as close as a family. Our vision are of the same, and it's just that irreplaceable feeling and bonding.

And as I sat at the table after my supper, observing the people around me. It just dawned on me how much my life has been transformed. I saw right away, how I could have been with Weisong and Vinson, maybe some other tuition people, eating supper.

How it could be, clubbing and Barcadi (it'll always remain my favourite alcoholic drink even though I stopped drinking, not that I was a regular drinker anyway). How perhaps, I would be involved in a BGR. How much of less of what I am right now. Oh, and definitely be emoing over Jay Chou songs lol. Haha. It really played like a fast movie in my mind during that 10 minutes (with music).

Yet, how God pulled me from such a small and meaningless fate, into one with a glorious destiny. I would have never dared to dream to be an aspiring youth that changes life. It's just that overwhelming feeling when I think about all that.

--

I love my life. Do you love yours?

2007-10-27T02:04:00.000+08:00

Haha. Today's CG was awesome. It was about the Dream Team.

We must just push our way through to the leaders. To grasp the heart of God,
learn what the leaders would do, and do it.

That means talking to the new integration when he/she is standing there looking around, being alert to notice it at first moment.

It means always being servant hearted. Whenever seeing someone that is in need of help (leader or not), be there to help. Offer even if they don't ask.

It means being alert enough to notice when your CG mate is down spiritually, and to administer to him/her, and speak life to her.

Every little bit counts, no matter how small the action seems to be. Because God will magnify it. Remember how insignificant 5 loaves and 2 fishes was to the thousands that need to be fed? Yet it made all that difference.
--

Haha..just realised how much we should be growing, yet we are hindered by unneccessary and supposedly insignificant distractions. How we should be at the next level, instead of still dwelling here.

I'm sick of this level, and I really can't wait to breakthrough to a new level. Life is good, but that's not enough. I want to see lives impacted and changed for Christ! And I will never touch or take any bit of the glory that is meant for God, for myself, never at any point, no matter how much the Devil may tempt me.

Christians reading my blog, let's really get convicted, and breakthrough our barriers once and for now. If it's not now, then when will it be?

How I yearn for you Lord.

2007-10-14T04:06:00.000+08:00

Just finished watching The Secret. Haha.. it's really a beautiful show. The apex was really sad..

On hindsight now, the careless mistakes of Jay inadvertantly attributed to the death of Rain. It was really heartwrenching..especially the part where she carved her last words onto the table, and Jay, in that parallel timeline..not knowing that his love has just died on the very spot he was at, at the moment.

Haha..and interestingly enough..I found myself begging the movie not to let anything bad happen to the girl..

Ending would have been very sad without the last scene with the photo haha.

---

Reflections.

The song lyrics differ greatly from the story of the movie. And there were rumours that Jay directed it from his life story. If that's the case, that would be interesting.

Is he the one that's unable to let go of the past and still lamenting?
Is he emo again?

Haha..but I just love his composing skills.
Hopes he get saved soon.

Jay Chou rocks!
God bless! =)

2007-10-08T01:02:00.000+08:00

Haha. Hi guys. Another awesome week has passed with the grace from God.

To sum it up, Saturday was a breakthrough service for me. No-name event really allowed me to be led by the Spirit in prayer. I was praying for many people, and it's like, it just can't stop!

==

Oh..and one thing I really dislike about myself is that I can't blog when I want to! Nevermind la. I share with people in my CG le, but its just that I would rather post it here for all passerbys to read too.

==

On a side note of reflection..

I began to rediscover myself, in a different perspective.

1) God made me a man that is sensitive to emotions (to myself, daresay a little to others?). I catch myself asking myself how would XX feel after ZZ did on the spot, and just thought how they would feel, whether it's a big thing or not. Maybe that is where I get notions of sympathy.
One interesting note is that, in the past, I would not dare to cry from what I feel.
Now, it's a whole different matter with God. =). He has just emboldened me.

1.5) From the first point, I could see why I loved Emo songs in the past. Because I was allowing my emotions to consume me, rather than be a master of it, and to enjoy from it.

To be honest, I always try to see how the songs would meant if I was in it (yet again, from point 1). Inadvertantly, I make my life in the past turn out exactly like how the songs would go. Sad, unappreciated and nostalgic (with a hint of self-righteousness). Isn't it sad that we in those times thought it was the best thing to do?

2) God made me a man that appreciates natural beauty. Haha. If you really know me as a true friend, you would know that I'm a sucker of waterscapes and landscapes. I'm the sort who would lie down on a patch of grass after hiking, simply to stare into the sky and clouds. For that very same reason, that's how I fell in love with classical music, and still loving pop culture music at the same time (except metal) And it just makes me even more appreciative of it after knowing God made them =)

3) I love singing. Although it is dangerous to a point where I know I may sing for the sake of singing, one thing that prevents me from doing so is that I love worshipping God than singing.

To really be broken to Him, and to exhalt him is really a dream for me. I would love to do it 24/7 a day if I was without physical limitations of tiredness (then again, that is what makes worship so precious, to be able to thank God even when you're tired and down).

That's all for now.

Lovely people, good night. =)

2007-10-01T00:06:00.000+08:00

Haha. Just here to blog about the weekend. It's been another great weekend haha.

Just had this suddenly had this flashback while I was typing this. I remember back in Sec 3. I had a "follow up" thing with Adrian. And he was sharing he knows less about about God the more he learns about God.

Slightly confunded at first, I realised that he meant the more he learns about God, the more he realises that he knows the little of the many wonders of him. Amazing right?

It's been a year, and I'm still learning in my walk with God. Haha. Then was wondering of the pastors before us. Pastor Ulf, Pastor How, Pastor Cho. They all had like 10 years in their walk at the least (some even 30 years). And they are still learning.

Can't wait to catch up! =)

--

Today's service was so full of the presence of God..
In fact, it's the first time I encountered the presence when I least expected it. And it just swept over me suddenly. It was so amazing..and I could do nothing but just fall on my knees and worship with my arms high up, tears just pouring down.

It lasted like..10 minutes? Seems like so. Cause waves of tears just came pouring down..and my face was almost cramped (bet it was super unglam, but who cares? we were all worshipping with all our heart).

Let me share with you the lyrics of that song.

One Life, One Love - City Harvest

Who am I, that you would know me from the start
Set me apart.
Who am I, that you would place eternity into my heart

You have given to me more than this world could give
My purpose is found in you

One life, I lay at your altar
One love, I have with you
Touch me again, fill me as you hold my outstretched hands
One word, you know I will follow
One heart, broken to you
Use me again, your mercies follow me,
for all my days

In your presence, in your power,
Holy Spirit I surrender

--

B4, you rock!

God bless =)

2007-09-27T01:47:00.001+08:00

IMPACTED by Noel Dickson Ongah!

You Rock!

2007-09-26T11:51:00.000+08:00

Sorry if this post came a little too late. My mouse just went bonkers Sunday, and I felt so unwell yesterday I went to bed early.

Thanks guys. This year was even better than last year. Just a brief summary. The CG celebrated my birthday along with Fatih's and Ting Wei's on Saturday! Cass, Mel and my aunt went to buy Swenson's ice cream cake for my birthday on Sunday!

Haha. My Daniel fast ended just on time =). if not I might have to wait a week to eat them =/.

Ivan, Sam and Charleston also bought me a leather wriststrap for my birthday. Haha. Maybe it would have looked better if my wrist was thicker (Cheesebun? Haha).

Oh, and a special special thanks to these people on the list for taking time to send me a birthday sms (even though some of them already wished on on Saturday haha)/

Ivan
Liling
Naomi
Ting Wei
Cass
MUM
Bing Rong
Sylvia

Thank you so much! =).

Haha, also, if you're reading this Jia Jun, thanks for spending the day to play pool with me at church today! =)

2007-09-20T01:56:00.000+08:00

Haha. Yay. Day 3 of Daniel Fasting is over. And I shall continue to pray not in vagueness, but with focus and precision!

The CG will grow. We will grow! I can see Naomi and me becoming leaders in church next time. Not really see, but that feeling you know?

--

Haha. These few days..are nothing short of amazingly really. I still struggle to sleep earlier for school. And the usuals. But.

I got my my prelim results. Had a B3 for English (short of a mark to A2), flung the rest, while my Lit and Chinese still hangs there.

Then. Benjamin and all of them started asking. Aren't you worried?
I wish I could say I am! Lol.
I'm not being complacent or confident, or just saying it as an excuse to slack.

I know that the prelims were not my best efforts yet (strangely). Although there is a small change I see, (my fails are all 47s') which generally was worse on other occasions, I'm still not satisfied.

Somehow, deep inside, God tells me that, I need not worry about the grades, or anything (competition etc). As long as I give my best for him for the paper, he will take care of the rest and allow it to be a powerful testimony.

I just wish God would faster do it! Haha.
---

Random: I love waterscapes.

2007-09-17T03:30:00.000+08:00

I am ready, to blossom, to rise, and to soar from the mustard seed.

create in me a new heart
one that follows you
place in me a deep desire
to know you as i’m known
set my feet in your ways
to live worthy of your call
draw me near to you lord
every single day

i just want to more like you
walk with you beside me
lord won’t you be my guide
place your heart inside my soul
a heart that’s ever true
one that’s after you

The tree will not sprout, if the seed doesn't die.

2007-08-27T00:11:00.000+08:00

Anyung.

I see myself doing a video for Create. And I'm pushing my resources and time, for Study Rule and for the video.

2007-08-05T23:39:00.000+08:00

I'm blogging again.

I seriously need to calm down. Calm down. Count the sheeps that jump over the wall.

Whoever hates apathy, please raise up your hands!

*A whole room of Pseudo Darrens' proceeds to do so*.

Thank you =).

==

Sometimes, we get disappointed. Disappointed at how "imperfect we are". Fallible humanity in us. Then we see it in others, and we get so angry.

I just remembered what Sy Rogers said. We are all humans with faults. And I can just see how Christ, with his torturing wounds, hung on the Cross. How he would forgive all those who betrayed him, who failed him. May it be someone he wasn't in close company with (the Pharisees) or the ones closest to him (his disciples). How he prayed for them before he died, asking the Father to forgive them for they know not what they'd done.

Sometimes, it really is the close ones that hurt more. Naturally, since they are the selected ones we let into our heart. It feels painful to have your trust broken, your promises broken by whom you would have once regarded being able to.

Maybe that's how we learn of how others would have felt, and thus abstain from it more.

==

The one I'm dedicating this post to. This would be my second dedication for an annonymous friend.

I have recently talked to this friend on Msn, trying to chat this friend up since it was like forever since we last had a proper chat. I chatted with him in the morning, and suggested that we call up at night later to chat since it was so long since we did.

He agreed immediately, and I had to rush off for something important then. By the time I came back from my meeting, and settled everything properly, I hastily rushed off to Msn to catch my friend, in case he fell asleep while waiting. In fact I was already rushing through my last chore. It was 11 then.

I found him there, and started chatting him up. To my gladness, he said, "Sure", when I asked if he wanted to talk now on the phone. However he said that we could only do so if I called him. That was quite impossible as my family was sitting in the living room, blasting the TV (and my phone was directly next to the TV). I explained to him, and asked if he could call me. However he couldnt use the phone too as his sister was.

So I decided to stick to dreary Msn then (how many of you people know Msn can't convoy emotions of words properly as we intend?). However, just when I started on my topic, guess what? He had to go to the toilet, and asked me to speak to him tomorow instead (which had been going on for the past few weeks, more than once a week). And the tomorow's never come to pass, because he would either be too tired the next day, or be busy with something else.

I had to ask him what time he'd sleep then, cause he said I call him when I was free. He said twelve (it was 11.30 then, when he havent went to the toilet). I mean. How would you feel if someone did this to you? Make you wait a whole day, think of the topics to talk about, just to be declined later without a much of an apology later?

I replied, "Forget it la". I wanted to see his reply. And I was done with being throwned around like some dirty rag that nobody cares about. And you know all that he said?. "Ok".

To me, that word told me everything I needed to know. About his attitude to friends, about his attitude to people. About his attitude to God (I won't elaborate on that here). And he said nothing else after that.

I refused to give up, after some thought. So I wrote again."You just don't want to talk."

"and haha. i mean. you may not see it this way la, but to me, i'm not worth your time to talk to you, xxxx"

"i donno what u mean. maybe you dont mean it that way lo, but its giving people this feeling".

With that, I gave him the chance to reply, to rebuke what I said. I was sincerely hoping he will, because at least, it showed that I mattered. Nothing came after 15 mins. And it was nearing twelve. His Msn Status has changed from Idle, to online.

I ended off with "if you dont even care about what i just said, then i realy nothing to talk about le. ".

Last chance. He never replied.

2007-07-24T19:13:00.000+08:00

Most adults are just liars. Freaking liars. Anyone can be a liar.

And I freaking hate boons who try to reason with might and anger.

I'll just ignore you if I have a choice.

2007-07-23T00:59:00.001+08:00

A farmer had some puppies he needed to sell. He painted a sign advertising the 4 pups. And set about nailing it to a post on the edge of his yard. As he was driving the last nail into the post, he felt a tug on his overalls. He looked down into the eyes of little boy.

"Mister" he said, "I want to buy one of your puppies."

"Well" said the farmer, as he rubbed the sweat off the back of his neck, "These puppies come from fine parents and cost a good deal of money."

The boy dropped his head for a moment. Then reaching deep into his pocket, he pulled out a handful of change and held it up to the farmer.

"I've got thirty-nine cents. Is that enough to take a look?"

"Sure," said the farmer. And with that he let out a whistle. "Here, Dolly!" he called Out from the doghouse and down the ramp ran Dolly followed by four little balls of fur.

The little boy pressed his face against the chain linkfence. His eyes danced with delight.As the dogs made their way to the fence, the little boy noticed something else??stirring inside the doghouse. Slowly another little ball appeared, this one noticeably smaller. Down the ramp it slid Then in a somewhat awkward manner, the little pup began hobbling toward the others, doing its best to catch up....

"I want that one," the little boy said, pointing to the runt

The farmer knelt down at the boy's side and said, "Son, you don't want that puppy. He will never be able to run and play with you like theseother dogs would."

With that the little boy stepped back from the fence, reached down, and began rolling up one leg of his trousers.In doing so he revealed a steel brace running down bothsides of his leg attaching itself to a specially made shoe.Looking back up at the farmer, he said, "You see sir, Idon't run too well myself, and he will need someone who understands."

With tears in his eyes, farmer reached down and picked up the little pup.Holding it carefully handed it to the little boy.

"How much?" asked the little boy. "No charge," answered the farmer, "There's no charge for love."

2007-07-16T02:28:00.001+08:00

Stars

Switchfoot

Maybe I've been the problem,
maybe I'm the one to blame,
but even when I turn it off and blame myself the outcome feels the same.
I've been thinking maybe I've been part of the cloudy,
Maybe I'm the chance of rain.
And maybe I'm overcast,
maybe all my lucks washed down the drain.

I've been thinking about everyone, everyone, you look so lonely.
But when I look at the stars,
when I look at the stars
when I look at the stars,
When i look at the stars, I see someone else.
When I look at the stars,the stars,
I feel like myself.

Stars looking at a planet watching entropy and pain.
And maybe start to wonder how the chaos in our lives could pass as sane.
Ive been thinking about the meaning of resistance, of a world beyond my own,
And suddenly the infinite and penitent began to look like home.

I've been thinking about everyone, everyone, you look so empty.
But when I look at the stars,
when I look at the stars,
When i look at the stars, I see someone else.
When I look at the stars,the stars,
I feel like myself.

The stars,
The stars,
Everyone, everyone you feel so lonely
Everyone yeah everyone you feel so empty.

When I look at the stars,
when I look at the stars
when I look at the stars,
I feel like myself.
when I look at the stars,the stars I see someone.

2007-07-14T00:06:00.001+08:00

Had dinner with Ivan today, with Nelson, Hannah and our Leaders (Fe & Seal). Haha.
Ivan is really a great leader. Noted some stuff from him haha.

1) The most obvious one, he rushed down from poly and all his work, just to have a meal with us to know us better. And he is leading a zone (thats how busy he is)

2) He listens more than he speaks (maybe it's cause our lot was the non-stop talkative one haha.

3) He's just like everyone of us. Humane (in that sense). Because I know most of the time we have the perception that our leaders are all super holy, perfect.

4)He interpreted my vision! I didn't know there could be a deeper meaning!

Haha yeas. I believe my leaders know even much more about him. Haha. Don't know how to put it. But, it's like, can't wait to be in Pastoral Meeting. Not cause it's fun, cool, this that.

It's the hunger to know more. Haha. I think I'm truly addicted on God's words now. Haha. But I know that all that isn't gonna happen if I don't rise up. Cause I'll not understand and benefit from it fully.

==

Haha...Vision can move mountains, literally. Vision can start movements.

2007-07-06T14:28:00.001+08:00

Haha. Wee. Am here to update. Watched Transformers with the gang yesterday. (Sylvia, Shermaine, Nelson, Elias, Wen Jun, Gerwinna & Desiree).

By the way, I realied I got a bad habbit of naming everyone that was in a group if I went out with them haha.

Yes. Before that Fe, Nelson & me were eating at Crystal Jade. Haha. It was like two days in a row because we ate the day before too with Ting Wei. We ate the usuals..haha..PORRIDGE! Simple and tasty. Period.

Yea..still had to follow Nelson for his meal laterat Foodcourt, till everyone came. Mm..we were just on time for the movie. Yes. And the movie was like, not bad. Pretty good considering it was like a totally boys movie back then at the 80's. The CGI effects were really nice. And Megatron is as sadistic and ebil as ever. Haha.

Went down to sit by the entrance of PS later, having a mini meal with the gang. Wen Jun seems uber stressed by his results, which was pretty bad. Hopefully his other three results turn out better.

Oh, and I had to carry Gerwinna after the movie. Yea. Lol. She was like sticking to Sylvia, and then to Elias like a wart plaster. So yea, I just helped out a little. Strangely it didnt feel brother-ish. Yea.Mm..brothers and sisters..

Yeas. The blog is not stagnant! I declare so.

God bless =)

2007-07-01T23:42:00.000+08:00

Hi people.

*Brushes off dust from stagnant blog*.

I realised that I carry my life with Jesus now. And pour out to my leaders and God, so a blog is quite redundant sometimes. Haha.

Mm..yeas. Actually was very impactful for me. Because this week was really quite bad for me. I realised that I have very bad self discipline compared to last time, for school. It's a extreme chore now to wake up for school, even if I slept at 12 the night before. Yes. But I still managed to come school mostly since term started.

Somehow, somewhere, the thoughts came to me, and I questioned myself over my capabilities and worth. I was doubtful that I could do anything great in life, since a minor thing like school is already so hard for me. And my grades is like crap. And I'm like, "What the heck am I doing now with my studies?"

And that's quite bad because, throughout this year till now, I have comed to realize that, without good grades, I will never win my school for Christ, no matter how nice I'm in school, or how concerned for the people I am in my school. Because that's just how people's going to judge you.

It really doesn't help when you begin your first day in a new term, and a teacher embarasses you in front of the entire class by pointing you out and teling the class that now is not to time to commit to church.

I can just see their jaws dropping when I score my O's. All my friends and teachers will ask me how I did it. And I will tell them that I was encouraged and strengthened by God.

Okays back to the point. There was an altar call during service today. And I was the first few to go up. I was prayed for by Sister Yassy. And I was really taken away by God. To put it in words, it was like God giving me a big warming hug.

Sister Yassy told me that, people have been telling me I've have no worth, no capabilities. My teachers, family, and even friends. But she said that God wanted me to banish those thoughts, because I was made for an even greater purpose. One that is so great I cannot even imagine.

At that point of time, I was like.."Jesus..I know it's you, thankyou.."..and I was kept listening, because I wanted to hear more. And Sister Yassy continued for quite some time. She shared that God has gifted me with creativity, and I should not doubt any of it (which I had been ever since the last Post Production project). And she said I need to stop worshipping Him afar like the Israelites, but worship him personally and closely. And that nothing will grow unless I allow the seed to fall and grow.

I am really touched by God today. And I will continue carrying his torch to those that is in darkness.

God bless =)

2007-06-09T09:19:00.000+08:00

It's been a long hiatus of time since I last blogged. Haha. Just saying I feel so stretched.
Haha.

It's really been a video season this 2 months. Haha. Glad to say that I've really
learnt alot these two months, and learnt to use it not only in the area of Post Production
ministry, but also in every other area of my walk with Christ.

Haha. Yeas. Just feel so powered up. Recharged. Can you imagine I only slept for an hour since yesterday? And here I am blogging. Haha.

Oh yes, just finished my Catholic High Schools Video. It's like 4 mins! So long. and it took my 3 weeks odd to do it haha. Really hope that it can touch many lives and inspire them to take their schools.

Haha. Yesterday. Pastor Joakim prayed for us. For the ones in secondary schools, who wanted to come forward to be prayed. Yes. I feel something big coming. I don't know what exactly it is, but like Jian Ming, I will seek God to clarify.

I realised I've been at least to say, lukewarm for my school. Yes I really want a revival in my school. But all talk and no action is nothing. I even asked Fedora how the revival in Cedar started. She said lots of prayers. At that time, I was really wondering. How prayer would help?

But through these months, God has really shown me time and again that prayer works for anything. I guess I can enough proof haha, and that I must really take action already.

I realised that, the planning thing I've learnt for planning outings from Sylvia, is really going
to help in the area of my school. To take my schools.

Feels like I've just and finally past by a big big thunderstorm. It's just a sunny day now. A beautiful morning. Even with PO or what.

This is the season.
This is MY season!

2007-06-01T00:06:00.000+08:00

Today is a bad day.

I didn't plan today properly, and as a result, I missed out on Emerge. If only I went in the morning, so much things would have been avoided. And I'll still get to praise God, feel his presence.

Today is really a bad day.

Do I really not know how to love someone?

"What's the point of being kind to people outside, when you can't even be kind to your family?"

If there is one thing I'll apologise, it's going to be me not knowing how to love you. Don't know how to show it out. It's just hard.

Jesus taught us that. Knowing it late is better than never I guess. But how do you just expect me to just give it to you, when it's not in my nature since young? Call if ego if you will.

Because if you really do, I have nothing to say to you. Because you're gonna be just another one that doesn't understand me.

I don't care what people may say. I'm built to feel emotions, everywhere.

2007-05-08T01:00:00.001+08:00

Mm..just the Photoshop work I've been doing the past two days. He's called Ky! Haha

2007-04-30T20:04:00.000+08:00

Mm..was thinking last night. Haha. Was thinking about my previous post.

Haha..mm..

It's just that..I used to thought that being emo was my mask. And that being happy and excited, ready to embrace people was the real me. Because whenever I saw people like that in the past (at least in school), I really wanted to express myself and break out of the emotionless expression.

Mm..I can say that in the past, it would be rare to see me smile (Wen Jun ah Wen Jun). Haha. Because I thought it wasn't nice to smile. And there was a time where I really got tired of making friends. Tired of being betrayed, yet not being perfect myself.

How I used to be gullible and headstrong, to the point that I can refuse to turn away from that situation even if it's disadvantagous for me (like, refusing to run in a fight, provoking bigger to fight), although they are usually for the right causes (like against bullies and being self-righteous)

Haha. Mm...and now I'm so not afraid to smile. Not afraid to let people know I'm joyful inside. I guess it's God's joy.

Mmm...I don't stray off topic. I was saying being emo was a mask right? Haha. Yea. Now..I was reflecting on my previous post. And it seemed that being emo just felt so right. Being able to feel those emotions. Other just happiness (I guess thats what you call wanting to have the best of both worlds).

Yea..and it just seemed..so nice to be able to feel anger, pride, selfishness (Woo..thou has fallen to the seductive dark side). Haha. Mm..but I know its not right, unless I channel it in the right manner.

Like what, you would think? Mm. Like whenever I feel like slacking and not talking to people, I must be selfish to the Devil, and take all his souls from him. I must have pride in my church. I must feel angry when the Devil attacks, and fight back.

Haha..like what the bible said. God made all things, but the Devil tainted them.

Another analogy

E.g: Alcohol is made by God for Man to keep warm and enjoy.
The Devil made drunkenness for Man to fall from grace and have lower inibitations.

Haha..yea..so..interesting. I think I do have the best of both worlds then =)

ONWARD EMO AND HAPPYNIESS!

God bless =)

2007-04-29T04:10:00.000+08:00

Hey people. It's 4am already. Mm. Was reading off internet..then it suddenly started raining..and I became emo..haha.

Mm..feels good to be emo. Like its who I am..inside..haha. Seldom do I feel these way with people. Playing Yi Lu Xiang Bei by Jay Chou..haha..yea I know its old. But still..haha..

Mm..random filler post

2007-04-14T14:22:00.000+08:00

I'm in church now. Just finished a small bit of our Prayer Video. Haha. Heard Esmonde playing his song on the piano. It was the leet! Haha. It's like a heartwarming song..and he composed it on his own! Admiration and respect for his skills!

Mm..this week is a busy week. Though there's no service tomorow (cause of Sydney Mohede's concert today), I think I'll still have to come back to church to finish up the video. We have two videos to finish (by Monday), and we're like barely near the half of the first video. Haha.

2007-04-12T23:56:00.000+08:00

I'm here to blog. To vent. To relax.

What can drain a person the most? I feel that it should be relationships. Because it is the only task in the world that requires more than an effort of one to work, and to work well.

Sure, a relationship can energize and give strength, if it's a healthy relationship. But if handled wrongly, I guess the worst known effects would be its fatally-inducing effects.

--

To be honest, as in really honest. I am saddened by something I heard today. I mean. To me, it kind of shows you stopped trying to understand. I don't know a word to describe it. Apathy?

Yes I'll get discipled, by whom it may concern, perhaps by Samantha. But I just felt that, the more I bottle it up, the worse it'll get.

I don't want to judge. I'm sick of judging. Because the judge always gets judged.

I just want to say I'm disappointed, down, and beaten.

You made it clear that..it was all my fault.

Our common enemy is Satan.

--

It's hard to love people. Some say, "I love mankind, I only just hate the people" (Oxymoronic statement). Admit it. It's hard to love people. Because we ourselves are blemished with sin. Sinful judge sinful = A cycle that spurns out more sinful and ungodly character.

I'm still having a hard lesson of humility, teachability, and obedience.

Perhaps that hardest of all, selflessness.

--

It must have been hard for Jesus to die for those who didnt really bothered to know, care, trust, sympathise with/for him. He was empowered by God's promise alone.

It's enough to inspire me.

God bless

2007-04-09T00:03:00.000+08:00

Haha..I have so many questions on human psychology again. And it all came from the way I observe people everyday. Don't know why, but these few days I have been percieving people interactions (response and react). And it's just so fascinating.

However I always forget most of my questions unless I blog straightaway when I come home (which I seldom get the chance to).

==

Anyways today was something really interesting. And I have come to a conclusion.

It's is okay and right for girl's to comment and talk about guys.
It is such a sin for guy's to comment and talk on girls (unless its someone they really know and its about something good)

Lol. Yeas. Now I don't want to be accused of being a sexist here, but, hasn't anyone noticed that such an abnormal reaction is going on? (Not to mention unfair). Haha. Though I'm not a practitioner of looking at girls nor rating them, I still find it absurd that men have to be attacked, ostracised, and be blacklisted because of it.

I don't support that it is correct and right to do, but at least give those guys an equal right to do what our feminine counterparts do.

I'll let you see what I mean.

Guy: I love Rui En so much. She has such a cute smile and innocent demeanor
Girl: I love Gackt so much! He looks so hot in tight pants and is so cool and bad boy

Given the above situation, it is most likely the guy that get shot by the girls sitting near him, than the girl being shot by guys around her.

Guys get labeled as superficial, tasteless, shallow and lustful if they comment on anything other than girl's character (she's kind, helpful, joyful) and even so, there's still a risk of still being labeled that way.

Girls, on the other hand, is applauded for good taste should they comment on anything about the guy they're gaga over. They get labeled with traits like a good sense of taste, smart, observant. Never ever are they attacked, unless they have managed to attack the egos of the guys around them (which they sometimes have a knack of, while still finding joy doing so).

Of course, when we finally do speak up, we're labeled as egoistical, petty, ungentlemanly, lame. We basically get continued bashes of "Whatever" should we continue arguing.

Such a funny world..

Haha.

I feel so journalistic. I can sense an attack from Sylvia and Naomi and Ting Wei should they read this, Fung Mei would have attacked me too if she read it. Haha.

2007-04-02T18:09:00.000+08:00

Today is the last day of my Daniel Fast. I'm glad to say I've pulled through one week of nothing but just veggies, fruits and 3 cans of Milo!

Haha..a small sense of achievement. But almost almost gave way this morning. The meat and food looked especially and even more tempting than any of the days I was fasting. Then I suddenly heard Marilyn's voice in my head, about how the last hours are going to be more hardest to pull through. Then the hunger just went away, and I thought about God. Haha.

Kudos and thanks to fellow B2-ians that gave support! Haha
==

Was just thinking on the train while going home.

We expect from people around us. But why is it that we expect more from people who are closer to us? Be it our parents, leaders, close ones, or even from our juniors.

Human nature? Selfish wants? To ensure a constant good relationship?

When is it ever too much to demand? To request? And do we sometimes expect and take more than we give, or vice versa?

Funny world.

God bless!

2007-03-27T19:30:00.000+08:00

I have an interesting piece of information I wish to share!

I am being counselled!
Don't wish to elaborate too much of the draggy convo, but notable sentences of the day would be,

Counseller Kenny Rogers: " We are here to help you, in case you have any intentions of hurting yourself *Emodudeee*, which I'm sure you wouldn't have. Or if anyone has hurt you *Pedo Radar alerrttt!!*, or that you have any intentions of hurting other people *Homicidee!!!* "

How wild can one day get?

Anyway I loved the counselling cause I got to talk about Photoshop, and get to skip an hour of school lessons, notably English, even though the counseller claims that Mrs Huang is really concerned about me and has seen a disturbing change in me (beware Lord Darth! muhahaha).

He says he'll see me on Thursday again, (but that means I don't get to go CME, which I love!). So yeas.

This is not a serious post. But one may pop up later tonight, at aprox 2am++.

Adios!

God bless =)

2007-03-20T23:54:00.000+08:00

Modified Picture

Original Picture

---

Nothing much today. Just like any other day with Photoshop.

2007-03-17T02:58:00.000+08:00

What are the crossroads of one's life?

Which of them would be a significant event, to the extent of which, if it would even to alter a slightest bit, would cause a butterfly effect?

When do you decide to have a crosspoint with another person in your life?

That question aside, I myself had been wondering on a statement one of my teachers made during Primary school.

"The time that has passed us, can no longer be returned or rewind".

Perhaps many of you have heard this phrase before, be it when our seniors in life reprimand us when we are insistent of continuing doing a wrong in our lives. Perhaps it was not studying, or not bothering to show love to a close one.

It particularly holds true for the latter. But actually, I had the mindset all along that time is not a matter, because we can always correct out actions so that the outcome can turn out as we want them to originally.

It never once occured to me in the past that, time was being lost! Time that could have used for a greater reason and purpose. This is the time that, once lost, we could never go back to undo actions or chose a different path in life. Crossroads of our lives.

--

Had a jog down my memory lane today, as I walked back from Toa Payoh to home. After yet another year. We have changed so much again. I could see clips of our lives. Played out in a movie. Darn. Don't I ever get tired of saying that? It's not that I regret my choice. So why am I reminiscing all these? Maybe because there are many cases of What If's for me there. And I'll always wonder. What would happen if only..

--

2007-03-11T01:04:00.000+08:00

First Attempt

Second Attempt

Lol..random doodles above. They were done when my computer screen is yellow. So I pretty much couldn't do much with the colour scheme.

Hope it turns out well =).

By the way, they're beams of energy, and can be seen as both directed upwards and downwards!

2007-03-06T00:40:00.000+08:00

Haha..it's ticking down to 2am.

Random Note: I am really turning noctournal. Sleeping through the morning and doing stuffs at evening and night time.

--

The sun sets, dipping into the horizon
That golden aura that envelops the sky,
Melts into oblivion.

Raided by a blanket of darkness, gradually.
That soft glow lamp, oblique and white.
Shows a true sight of the twilight. That grey and blue transfuse.

Mirthless night,
Ruptured sight,
Nascent mind,
Precise time,

--

I hope I'm allowed to be emo.

2007-03-03T20:49:00.000+08:00

Heys people, am like at home now. Haven't been home so early since like weeks ago (came back at 8)

Haha..anyways..I was pretty much drained out during the last week. Been going out everyday, either with JJ they all or team outing.

Mm...bahs. I'm not in the mood to blog now. Maybe later at two. Yeas..haha.

2007-02-16T22:39:00.000+08:00

Hi people. Haha. I'm back! Haha. Am I like blogging once a week now? Haha.

Mm..I had some talks with Kenneth on the phone last night. Amazingly, it reminded me that I should always be a good example of Christ, in every aspects of my life. Including academics, outside life and etc. Haha..yea. And I'm very glad he and JJ came for CG today. Like finally!!!! Hahaha!! Wooo!! Mmm..think you guys pretty much still enjoyed yourselves..more or less. Haha.

Random spout: God worked his miracles on the pool table. Haha

==

Lately I've been having nightmares. Ya..it's abit repeated. Like think 3 times in two months le. 3 or 4. Ya...

It's about the passing of my grandmother. Yea..the dream was so intense I almost opened my water ducts in my eyes. Yea..it's like. The sense of loss and helplessness is there..

It feels exactly like that N's level dream I had during September last year..but it didn't came to pass..so I hope this doesnt too.

2007-02-10T22:00:00.000+08:00

Haha..I'm not at home now. Am blogging at Fe's house. Am here with Sylvia.

Mm..was reading my archives. Realised I had a crush on Kim Wakerman when I was younger haha. Oh wells. Haha. Realised that it's so silly. Haha..Am I'm not used to Fedora's laptop. Random comment. x)

Haha..Mm..

What happened to our 10 years down the road? It was supposed to be the four of us. Enjoying the sea breeze. Sipping Barcadi by the Esplanade. Mm..Now it seems so far from it..
I know I shouldn't be like typing this now but it's just what I feel now..

Oh yeas..the song, Time After TIme by Eva Cassidy is nice. Haha. Let me get you the lyrics

Time After Time - Eva Cassidy

Lying in my bed I hear the clock tick,
And think of you
Caught up in circles confusion -
Is nothing new
Flashback - warm nights -
Almost left behind
Suitcases of memories,
Time after -

Sometimes you picture me -
I'm walking too far ahead
You're calling to me, I can't hear
What you've said -
Then you say - go slow -
I fall behind -
The second hand unwinds

Chorus:
If you're lost you can look - and you will find me
Time after time
If you fall I will catch you - I'll be waiting
Time after time

2007-02-01T16:50:00.000+08:00

Haha..finally back from the time consuming school remedials haha.

Hmm..just had the sudden urge to blog. Ya..

School today was ok. CME made me realised how super bonded our class is again. Not only during CME, but during any other lessons, activities. Our CME class (Mdm Chong's) was like complaining and making so much noise when Mrs Huang wanted Jian Wen to transfer over to her CME class. Haha..

Then Mdm Chong pulled me aside, to ask me to consider the Poly route. Cause Chinese was gonna drag down my score. Might as well drop it and focus on my other five. And she was like telling me which faculty can go Uni and all that. Haha..

Mm..yea..just thought about it. I mean. Poly was my initial choice already. But SA had the allure. Lately these class bonding, relation building in school is like taking on a higher awareness. Maybe it's cause of the fact that I know it'll be my last year here. Where I spent like 11 years of my life in. Many memories down the lane..

==

*Goes off to make caffe au lait*

Adios

2007-01-24T21:59:00.000+08:00

I saw a weird shaped cloud on Monday x) . Or am I so deranged to start seeing "shaped" clouds? What do you think? ;)

Now I'm down with fever. Hope I can recover in time for tomorow's Heart To Heart With Charleston. Hah. Aiya, even if I cant recover on time, I'll still go haha.

Knocked out. on 24th Jan 2006.

God bless

2007-01-19T22:02:00.000+08:00

Haha..today will be my unlucky day.

Was nicely sitting down at assembly, talking. Then suddenly..

*Clunk*

Some 1.5 litre water bottle launched itself unto my head. Full with water..and it's hard plastic (Not those coke bottle plastic).

Haha..yea. Talk about bullseye. Can't even strike lottery with that. Blehs. Now got stupid bumps on my head (and supposedly induced headaches).

So went home early after going to the clinic and having an x-ray scan (insisted by the school). Pretty much died at home. Lol.

Anyways would really like to thank those who asked me how I was after I got home. Which would be Ben, Fe, Vinson & Nelson. And also thanks to Sylvia and Stanley for visiting me la. Haha. Though no fruit baskets or foods for me T_T . Haha. Oh ya, especially thanks for Ben for walking me down to GO and for the MSN prayer. Really appreciate it lots =)

Haha..

God bless =)

2007-01-19T21:28:00.000+08:00

The university professor challenged his students with this question:

"Did God create everything that exists?"

A student bravely replied "Yes, he did!"

"God created everything?" the professor asked.

"Yes sir," the student replied.

The professor answered, "If God created everything, then God created evil since evil exists, and according to the principal that our works define who we are, then God is evil."

The professor was quite pleased with him self and boasted to the students that he had proven once more that the Christian faith was a myth.

Another student raised his hand and said, "Can I ask you a question
professor?"

"Of course," replied the professor.

The student stood up and asked, "Professor , does cold exist?"

The professor replied "Of course it exists. Have you never been cold?"

The students snickered at the young man's question.

The young man replied, "In fact sir, cold does not exist. According to the
laws of physics, what we consider cold is in reality the absence of heat.

Every body or object is susceptible to study when it has or transmits energy, and heat is what makes a body, or matter, have or transmit energy. Absolute zero (- 460 degrees F) is the total absence of heat. Cold does not exist. We have created this word to describe how we feel if we have no heat.

The student continued. "Professor, does darkness exist?"

The professor responded, "Of course it does."

The student replied, "Once again you are wrong sir. Darkness does not exist either. Darkness is in reality the absence of light. Light, we can study, but not darkness. In fact we can use Newton's prism to break white light into many colors and study the various wavelengths of each color. You cannot measure darkness. A simple ray of light can break into a world of darkness and illuminate it. How can you know how dark a certain space is? You measure the amount of light present. Isn't this correct? Darkness is a term used by man to describe what happens when there is no light present."

Finally the young man asked the professor. "Sir, does evil exist?"

Now uncertain, the professor responded, "Of course, as I have already said. We see it every day. It is in the daily example of man's inhumanity to man. It is in the multitude of crime and violence everywhere in the world. These manifestations are nothing else but evil."

To this the student replied, "Evil does not exist sir, or at least it does
not exist unto itself. Evil is simply the absence of God. It is just like
darkness and cold, a word that man has created to describe the absence of God.

God did not create evil. Evil is the result of what happens when man does not have God's love present in his heart. It's like the cold that comes when there is no heat or the darkness that comes when there is no light."

The professor sat down.

2007-01-02T03:28:00.000+08:00

Haha..It's like 4am now. Was like sleepy and nua at around 1+ but kinda couldn't sleep. Haha. Feel so..yup. Emo high again. Haha. But more of the neutral feeling (than negative).

You know? Like those yoga lessons..being one with nature and focusing your "chi" over the rainbow? Haha. Just kidding x) . But am at feeling where I can write the most. *Notes down time*. English Paper 1 exams shall be set at this time haha. Mm...yea.

By the way it feels like three day has passed. (Before Countdown, Notting Hill at my house. After Countdown, morning strolls at Doby. Sudden Night, when I just woke up and had dinner. Very chim right? Haha.

==

Haha..was just thinking as I was reading some random blog. School's starting! Haha...I remember putting on a mask everytime I go to school. A mask of nonchalant attitude, loner, no-life depressive dork that sleeps in school. Haha..

Isn't it ironical, that I have become the very thing I've hated the most since young? A hypocrite. Haha. Let's make it fair for me. Hypocrites in a intended malicious way (Those that hide their sorrow in smiles shall be nice lads that are loveable, smart, meticulous) haha.

It's like two different beings you see in me. When I'm in school and out. Haha. The desire to fit in (though I feel secure already thankyou). People in my school..are like my mask (sometimes I wonder if we're all wearing mask, ready to burst in madness and joy with a slap to the back like those Englishmen "Ye can't pull the wool over my eyes!"). Haha. Nonchalance...and w/o love. Like no one in my schools knows how to love another human being (cept the teachers).

Which is why I'm so excited to get back to school. It's a new place to conquer for Christ! And a great reason for me to shed that mask! No more boring dull sleepy sian-looked Darren (while acing in English, Physics and sometimes Humanes =P) without handing in homework!! Haha. I'm gonna be more chatty to strangers (not exactly good for my teachers) and bring joy to the world..my saviour lives (Im so high...). Haha. Maybe try to whisk a few smiles and sprain my face muscles. (I heard your passing comment Naomi! About me looking bad in my wedding photo since I can't smile) Haha. Somebody say Reverse Joker!! (Joker as of DC Comics)

Haha. It takes courage, reckless spirit (that has been thought through oO). All of which I have aplenty! Muhahha. So back to that good ol' line. Take The Schools!

==

Ya..haha. Realised that was a really emo high post. There's more stuff which I want to write about. But kinda jammed. *Notes down time. Shall finish essay in twenty minutes*

Haha..so be it.

God bless =)

2006-12-24T00:55:00.000+08:00

It's offically Christmas Eve now. And boy, I can't wait for Christmas Eve service!

Haha. Jiajun & Weiliang will be joining me tomorrow for Christmas Party (& service)!

Busy busy!

Shall update again.

2006-12-15T00:26:00.000+08:00

Song Of The Day: Runaway - Linkin Park
Mood: Pondering.

Graffiti decorations
Under a sky of dust
A constant wave of tension
On top of broken trust
The lessons that you taught me
I learn were never true
Now I find myself in question
(They point the finger at me again)
Guilty by association
(You point the finger at me again)

I wanna run away
Never say goodbye
I wanna know the truth
Instead of wondering why
I wanna know the answers
No more lies
I wanna shut the door
And open up my mind

Paper bags and angry voices
Under a sky of dust
Another wave of tension
Has more than filled me up
All my talk of taking action
These words were never true
Now I find myself in question
(They point the finger at me again)
Guilty by association
(You point the finger at me again)

I wanna run away
Never say goodbye
I wanna know the truth
Instead of wondering why
I wanna know the answers
No more lies
I wanna shut the door
And open up my mind

--

Hi people. Lyrics so meaningful. Wish I can relate to it more. Haha

2006-12-12T01:57:00.000+08:00

Mood: Emotinally High
Song: Moondance - Nightwish

--

Guess what? It's 2 am already!

The tune of Moondance keeps ringing through my head now. Haha. Random spouts. Just feel like saying the night is seductive. Especially now that this week has been with full moons.

Got this sudden urge to want to become a vampire and just glide and soar in the darkness. I think the view at Romania will be nice. Or just zoom past Orlando now. Flashbacks of our wonderful time there. Time where I was alone and lonely, but carefree.

Haha.

2006-12-11T20:48:00.000+08:00

Today I got challenged by my relatives. Haha.

Still don't understand this materialistic sense of world. Why do they always shriek and look disgusted when youths these days say they busy with church work? Why is their first question always, "Church pay you ah?".

Today my uncle came over for dinner. I have not seen him for almost 2 months already, as I was busy with work and church. Obviously he wasn't happy when he saw me, since he already knew I quit my aunt's job and was "living off" my family.

Uncle: "Darren. You these fews days very busy? Busy do what?" (disgusted look)
Me: "Ya. Busy with church work" (*innocent look)
Uncle: "You stop work already. Why you stopped work?"
Me: "I'm busy with church work"
Uncle: "Busy do what?"
Me: "Making videos"
Uncle: "Making videos? The church pay you ah? Why you stopped work?"
Me: "Busy with church"
Uncle: "You know now the older you get, you're getting freaking useless?"
Me: "I'm doing videos. I get to learn from church"
Uncle: "The church pay you is it?"
Me: "Why is doing videos for church useless. Am I like lazing in the house, doing nothing productive now?"
Uncle: "You answer me, church pay you is it!"
Me: " I get to learn in church. And I'm making videos. I don't think thats useless"

*pauses*

Uncle: "Darren, you better don't do anything funny or anything. Or else you see what I'm gonna do to you"
Me: *Gives the abit diao look". Went back to computer. *Then he continues so I turn back again"
Uncle: "You don't give me that guai lan (canto vulgarity, means something like whacking up) look okay. You heard what I said? The family is not obliged to look after you" *raises voice.

--

You see why I'm getting irritated? And he is a man that really beats. You should have seen him. He even scared off my school's gangster haha.

But as he said that, I didn't felt uncomfortable at all. It was like as in Devil was trying to challenge me. But God gave me strength, and I found myself replying him for the first time, even though I know that he could have smacked me if I dare to "rebuke" him.

--

Still, even so. I don't see why they have the right to "discipline" me, even though my parent is still around (Mum). Should they feel I have inadaquate upbringing, why not talk to my Mum. But they are just biased and prejudiced.

--

I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.

God bless =)

2006-12-08T04:22:00.000+08:00

Haha...at Church's nursery now. Am supposed to be doing Post Production work now. Somehow I ended up down here. The church iMac is nice to use haha. Very nice in fact. Got to see all those fanciful video effects. Haha. Just can't wait to grasp Final Cut & start working.

By the way..today is like 24! 24 is an event of our church, involving 24 non-stop praise and worship of God!! Guess its too late to advertise now huh? Haha. But yes! It just seems to be the thing that pumps my blood and keep me going right now! Such is the power of praise haha.

I saw a dream during Bible School's QT yesterday. I saw my whole class lifting up their hands and praising God. Isn't that awesome?!

==

Sacrifice brings forth a latent power..

Live a life for others. Have a "Others-life"!

God bless =)

2006-12-05T02:07:00.000+08:00

We went to Escape today. Team outing! Haha. It's my first time in Singapore's themepark. Outing was fun generally haha. Lots of thrills and abit of bonding. Haha..in my opinion bah.

Tired.

2006-12-01T23:23:00.000+08:00

Haha..That Michelle! Was chatting with Fe & Mich last night on MSN.

Twenty years down the road..what a tentative question to ask. Haha. Though I look at the future with faith (in God) now, these questions still haunts me. They came back in short flashbacks.

How at Primary 4, where 3 friends and I made a pact. To come back even beyond our Primary school levels. They were my best friends at the time. It was also the first time where I really had friends. Friends that shared the same interest, hobbies, ambition and time together. It felt like home to me at that time. That was the first time I felt this way. Now. only 2 of the original 3 I remain contact. One is like an occasional talk only. The other, Hao Jun, I'm seeing him more due to work and holidays.

And then, a more recent flashback. Tuition people. It's just like one year ago. How it was with 3 friends too. They too, were my best friends at the time. It was the second time where I felt "home". We always hung out with each other. Crapped with each other. Enjoy each other's company. And wondered on what would happen with 10,20 and 30 years down the road. How 10 years later, we would have a stable career, chilling out at Zouk with Barcadi, talking about our life and tuition. 20 years down the road, we would have settled down with our significant halves. Jokes on each other's abilities (My funny name, which my wife would call. Tay Kailing's "wonderful" ability to cook, Fung Mei's "Ee, chou chou"). And etc. But, in less than a year, strings of events came along, circumstances that forced some of us apart.

Now is the third time where I feel "home". Perhaps that feeling got more or less half numbed by the past experiences. But still. I love my church mates.

To me, I no longer feel so much thrill asking these questions anymore. Not as much as it used to be. I still look towards it, but it's no longer fraught with beautiful utopian-like situations. Because people are failable, unlike God. I dream, I still do. Because I trust that God will work out my life for me, and it will be good.]

20 years. I'm still waiting.

God bless =)

2006-11-26T00:45:00.000+08:00

Hey people! I'm back from Youth Camp. It's just so awesome!

Am tired ah.

God bless!

2006-11-19T00:11:00.001+08:00

Thanks Naomi. River Flows In You is really nice.

It's like playing movie clips in my head haha..(like what melancholic music always have an effect on me)

2006-11-19T00:11:00.000+08:00

Thanks Naomi. River Flows In You is really nice.

It's like playing movie clips in my head haha..(like what melancholic music always have an effect on me)

2006-11-18T15:02:00.000+08:00

In church now. wanted to eat at PS but haha. so bored now.

==

Work was okay. We sorta managed to end early cause of some power failure thing (so it can be a good thing lol).

Fasting till dinner time. I must restrain it haha. Then tomorow shal ask my aunt for my "one month" work. Why it's with the quotes is cause its only tentatively one month. I'm sure she wants me to slog out my two months. Adults and their money driven purposes. So shallow haha.

==

Realise my previous post was abit serious and ranty haha. With regards, its just ovwer-exposure of work, work and WORK! See how bad it is? It accumulates and causes dormant memories to run back. Then they kinda contaminate your present memories. And there! Work has suceeded to make you someone with no life!

Why do they always justify that I have to live and all that costs money? And the silly notion of, "Church doeesn't pay you, we do". And how they just try to degrade and bring me down later when I tell them Academic Excellence pays $150. Silly adults.

My sunday is robbed by my cousin birthday haha. Ir's Chris's 21st birthday. So I think its kinda bad not to go. Like my one day of holiday gone...lol.

Shall stop here. Service will be great!

God bless

2006-11-18T00:35:00.000+08:00

Sick of all these thoughts during work. Work is driving me nuts and not balanced.

Reading Tay Kailing's book now. Very interesting. Based on Solomon and the Book Of Ecclesiates.

==

To put oneself to be emotionally dependant (a little or alot) is dangerous and puts yourself in a vulnerable position. It's these instances where "the ones you trust are the ones that hurts most" happen.

It is the cause of weird emotional range. Which also results in loss of emotional control.

Which Darren does not like.

Therefore Darren does not wish to be emotionally dependant. At least not on people. Just God is enough.

I must never involved myself in weird emotions. I must not be happy for weird reasons. I must not be sad for weird reasons. I must be responsible for my own.

Sometimes these things are what's so scary. Like a big illusion wrapped in gilded clothing. Friendships are okay.

Never move your affections.

Never.

==

God bless

2006-11-15T22:30:00.000+08:00

[Chrous]:
'Cause we lost it all,
And nothing lasts forever,
I'm sorry, I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late
And we can't go back,
I'm sorry, I can't be perfect..

Look at this photograph
Everytime I do it makes me laugh
How did our eyes get so red
And what the hell is on Joey's head

Remember the old arcade
Blew every dollar that we ever made
The cops seeing us hanging out
They said somebody went and burned it down

I wish I could Bubble Wrap my heart,
Incase I fall and break apart,
I'm not God I can't change the stars,
And I don't know if there's life on Mars,
But I know you're hurt,
People that you love and those who care for you,
I want nothing to do with the things you're going through.

This blog needs a revamp.

I know how it feels to be not alone but lonely.

2006-11-14T00:03:00.000+08:00

Switchfoot - You

There's always something
In the way
There's always something
Getting through
But it's not me
It's You, it's You

Sometimes ignorance
Rings true
But hope is not in
What I know
It's not in me..me
It's in You, it's in You

It's all i know (x3)

I find peace when
I'm confused
I find hope when
I'm let down
Not in me ... me
In You
It's in you

I hope to lose myself
For good
I hope to find it in the end
Not in me ... me
In You (x3)

It's all I know (x3)

In You
In You
Its in You
Its in You

There's always something in the way
There's always something getting through
But it's not me
It's You
It's You
It's You ....

===

It's true. This song really feels sad. Didn't felt so when Naomi let me heard it for the first time. Somehow the song rang in my head.

And the lyrics came out. Didn't understand it at first. But it seems so clear now.

Some people think that holding on makes us strong. but sometimes it is letting go.

===

I stopped stoning by the bed a long time ago, because I figured it doesnt help in anything. Feel so much like going back to that habit now.

2006-11-13T01:57:00.000+08:00

Haha. Watched Castaway yesterday. The show was nice. Although it had a sad ending, I think it touched a chord in my life. How the main character stuggled through four years on a deserted island. Nothing left except for his will, wits and instincts to survive. How he managed to stay strong, with the volleyball Wilson, and a picture of his fiancee.

Haha. Ending was that, after he managed to get off the island and return to America, his fiancee was found to married to another man. Like they're forced apart just by that thin wall of circumstance..

==

Today we went to Paradiz Centre. Walked past the same spot. One year ago. Where my birthday was celebrated with a group of unforgettable friends.

Where are them all now?

No I'm not feeling sad or what now. I just thought about if after a weird dream.
I can still dream of a few of you in particular so strongly, even though we've never seen each other in months already. I wonder hows Benjamin, Marcus, Simin, Priscilla, and of course the two of you guys.

Judging from the MSN nicks of those I have added, they're all not going through exactly happy times. Sure you can just say, "They're just experiecing typical teenage angst. Love, friends and family. The usuals". Most of them had it all already (for their age). Yet they're not happy.

It's just course they don't know the Lord. They fill holes of their life with material stuff. It's a sad sight of them not knowing Christ. And some of them, I'm incapable of bringing them to church anymore because of the ties. How I forget to rely on God's strength and prayer.

==

I want to carry on my life. But I just can't shake off the thoughts sometimes. Are you two really okay?

This whole episode of my life that I want to put down. The memories get weaker and weaker, but they resurface more often than before now. When I'm just sitting alone in the house at night. With everyone asleep. Like tonight. They just pop up.

Somebody reminded me of the reason why I liked Full House? The sense of irony in the show. That love hate, unexpected romance in the show.

==

My Experiences of Music Association to Life (EMAL. It spells LAME backwords =) )

Haha..

Guang Liang, Tong Hua - Pre June tuition period 2005. With what Marcus, Weisong & I was going through.

Jesse McCartney, Take Your Sweet Time/James Blunt, You're Beautiful - Depressed period. Post June period 2005. Also within tuition.

Jay Chou, Qing Tian - Feb 2006 . Reminds me of the beach.

To date, its all from tuition haha. I haven't forged a link to songs with friends in church yet. Maybe that memory only records sad incidents?

==

Mm...God bless. Nights

2006-11-11T00:22:00.001+08:00

My masterpiece!

Please click and enlarge. It looks way better that way =)

2006-11-07T22:55:00.000+08:00

We were strangers
Starting out on a journey
Never dreaming
What we'd have to go through
Now here we are
And I'm suddenly standing
At the beginning with you

No one told meI was going to find you
Unexpected, What you did to my heart
When I lost hope, You were there to remind me
This is the start

Life is a road and I want to keep going
Love is a river I wanna keep flowing
Life is a road, now and forever wonderful journey

I'll be there when the world stops turning
I'll be there when the storm is through
In the end I wanna be standing, at the beginning with you

We were strangers on a crazy adventure
Never dreaming, how our dreams would come
Now here we stand, unafraid of the future, at the beginning with you
Life is a road I want to keep going
Love is a river I wanna keep flowing
Life is a road, now and forever wonderful journey

I knew there was somebody somewhere like me alone in the dark
Now I know my dream will live on
I've been waiting so long, nothing's gonna tear us apart

Life is a road and I want to keep going
Love is a river I wanna keep flowing
Life is a road, now and forever wonderful journey
I'll be there when the world stops turning
I'll be there when the storm is through
In the end I wanna be standing, at the beginning with you

===

Beautiful song.

2006-11-07T22:05:00.000+08:00

7 RANDOM FACTS ABOUT ME

- Crimson is my favourite colour!
- I have supper with my Mom at 2 a.m.
- I like sad songs. Used to, and still am haha.
- I didn't know bibles can be bought when I was younger.
- I'm living a no life on weekdays now with 11 hours of work.
- The good thing is, my Saturdays/Sundays always brighten up my life!
- I just read stuff on Wikipedia ;)

7 THINGS THAT SCARES ME
- Succumbing to being conscience-less
- The negative side of humanity
- A life without songs and music
- Giant squids anyone?
- Nil
- Nil
- Nil

7 FAVOURITE MUSIC AT THE MOMENT
- What's Left Of Me, Nick Lachey
- All About You, McFly
- Shou Fang Kai, Li Sheng Jie
- You & Me, Lifehouse
- If You're Not The One; Daniel Beddingfield
- Behind These Hazel Eyes, Kelly Clarkson
- Take Your Sweet Time, Jesse McCartney

7 PEOPLE I FANCY
- Batman! Uber detective! Par with L.
- Boxer! "I must work harder!"
- Nate Grey a.k.a X-Man. Most powerful telekinetic mutant! Fly!
- Muu, for resembling a chracter in my many sketches
- Jackie Chan! The dude with the cool moves. "People say I'm cuter than Snoopy!"
- Dumbledore, for that ever wise teacher and leader.
- Fido Dido, for being spunky and hip even in black and white!

7 THINGS I SAY MOST
- Sotong
- Bish
- Paboya
- Aye
- Mm
- Random song quotes
- Random show quotes

7 PEOPLE TO DO THIS
- I'll spare my dead blogging friends =)

Thanks Naomi for the quizz.

God bless

2006-11-03T00:17:00.000+08:00

Today is my first day of work. Haha. Fairly old stuffs that I'ed done before at Kodaks. Working at HSBC now. The premise is nice haha. Pantry so big..(compared to other offices). And we have such a big room for 5 of us working lol. It's the size of an executive meeting room.

Hmm..can't wait to start scanning. At least not so much handiwork as the unstapling of documents. And scanning is more of less auto, just the quality check part that is a bit more tedious.

Lol. Forgot to mentioned that I'm working with Kenneth & Jia Jun. Mm..Kenneth is obsessed with the pay. Keep asking me if the training day is paying lol. Then we would skip lunch (or plan to) and head straight for the arcade. Raced with Jia Jun in Initial D! Haven't really lost touch. Still can win by some advantage haha.

Mmm. Am really glad that God has answered my prayers. I had prayed for Jon Chng for days after the seminar with Pastor Joakim. And a week later, I heard that he was invited to church by our maths teacher! Although it's CHC church, its still a closer step to knowing God! Just had updates from Kenneth that he was singing Christian songs during the Enviromental Club meeting. Isn't that awesome?! God can really work through our prayers! Haha.

==

Mm...Kenneth is joining me for Parachute Band. Hope he enjoys it. Hope that this concert can really ignite his passion to know Christ better! Although this he's attitude towards God is like..not very desirable, I hope that it would change very soon. Then we can take SA together!

Speaking of that, I'm also encouraged by Nicholas. Heard from him that he's been trying to get back people to church! Even bringing a new friend from our school! Haha. It's like awesome!! Haha. He better not die down so fast! Haha.

==

My body is so tired! Suddenly feel so overwhelmed by School Of Worship, work, and all the stuff. I'm being expanded!! Help. Lol.

God bless! =)

2006-10-31T22:41:00.000+08:00

You're different and self reliant. You tend to be a loner unless in dire need of help. You love to win and have every detail of every situation under your grasp at all times. You don't have many friends and tend to keep your distance from the outside world, but not necessarily out of fear, but because of your naturally inquisitive nature. In the very small circle of friends that you have you're always the leader and often considered the smart, or partially insane one because of your natural genius, overwhelming sense of justice, and weird likes and dislikes; also in this small circle you are cherished and loved for the same reason. You don't let many people get close to you and only really allow a full conversation with either someone you trust or someone you're suspicious of while in search for information.

2006-10-27T23:19:00.000+08:00

Haha. Been ten days since my last entry? Sorry for not updating! Holidays have been really busy. Haha

Haha..Feel like pasting a song lyric here. But no appropiate song lol.

==

Today is such an eye opener. Well. At least the last part was. Never seen a worser jerk in my life. No guts no nothing.

Being a sensitive soul (maybe), although I do not condone his actions, I feel bad for him. His past that inadvertently moulded him into a playboy. But it's such a pathetic excuse. And he didn't even dare to face the fact that the girls are dumping him.

A darn big disgrace to all men. You shouldn't be called a playboy. You should be called a cowboy. Coward.

==

I guess the past comes to haunts us once in awhile when we least expect it.

The good thing is I'm still pushed and motivated. Through smiles. Through prayers. Through God's miracles.

I feel that I'm expanding now. Expand & Enlarge! Our CG motto! Haha. It is definitely a good thing.

God bless =)

2006-10-20T23:42:00.000+08:00

Heart pains. Period.

2006-10-15T21:47:00.000+08:00

One. Think of 10 interesting things about yourself, they've gotta be true.
Two. Think of 5 false things about yourself, but for fun's sake keep them in the threshold of believability.
Three. Jumble them all up together and list them in any order.
Four. Post them and let people guess which the five false ones are!
Five. Get 5 others to do the same.

1) I can recite everything in 100 Poems Of Tang Literature.
2) I hate Coke
3) I know how to play all sorts of card games
4) I participated in an officlal soccer game with my offical jersey and boots
5) I think flavoured (onions, cheese, egg) prata is the best!
6) I think plain prata with curry is the best!
7) I'm a strawberry addict.
8) I used to swear all the time before I knew Christ
9) I believe in compromising in relationships
10) I dismantle my Gameboy to fool with the circuits
11) I have a functional Nintendo DS
12) I do psychic spoon bend! (Muhahaha)
13) I love chewy gummy sweets
14) I can overdose on Barcadi Orange if I want to
15) I already had my first puff of smoke.

5 ppl will have to do this!
-Fedora
-Sylvia
-Naomi
-Benjamin
-Guy

==

Lol. Been long since I updated. Getting lazy to update again. Haha. Went to SA Open House. Surprised that the area is so small. Lol. The ex-JC site was so much bigger. Cramping us into one village isn't that good aye?

Erm. Just a short update though. Hmm. Watched Shutter with Fe, Seal & Nelson at my house. Lol. It was freaky man. Utterly. but like the usuals, once the ghost is revealed..all the scare is lost.

Then Naomi lent my Windstruck. The show was very nice haha. Ending was somewhat..connected to My Sassy Girl. Because the main lead was like the beggining scene in My Sassy Girl (forget the actor's name haha). Then just came back from church. We had a Post-Exam activity..and after games...we watched The Longest Yard! Hilarious.

Haha. Yes. With that..

God bless =)

2006-10-10T02:03:00.001+08:00

It's spring-cleaning time!

We watched World Trade Centre today with Fe, Syl & Nelson. I felt that it was not bad. Was able to convey what it feels and how it's related. Don't know how to others feel haha.

Then everyone went high and crazy after themovie. Kind of wrong if you ask me haha. Yups. So I was the only sane one there. Ceaseless chattering. Abit funny. Abit wrong. But, haha, it's nothing new x)

Haha. Short entry

God bless

2006-10-05T00:40:00.000+08:00

Hilary Duff - Fly

Any moment everything can change
Feel the wind on your shoulder
For a minute all the world can wait
Let go of your yesterday

Can you hear it calling?
Can you feel it in your soul?
Can you trust this longing and take control?

[CHORUS]
Fly
Open up the part of you that wants to hide away
You can shine
Forget about the reasons why you can
deny and start to try 'cus it's your time, time to fly

All your worries, leave them somewhere else
Find a dream you can follow
Reach for something when there's
nothing left and the world's feeling hollow

Can you hear it calling?
Can you feel it in your soul?
Can you trust this longing and take control?

[CHORUS]

And when your down and feeling low,
just want to run away
Trust yourself and don't give up
You know you better than anyone else

Any moment everything can change
Feel the wind on your shoulder
For a minute all the world can wait
Let go of yesterday

Dedicate this to myself
===

12.20am

This world doesnt need one more orphan.
I'll stand by what I said years ago.

If you have no intention of loving me and treating me like a regular family member, you can might as well throw me in the adoption centre. Sell me. Heck do whatever you want to abandon me. It's okay. I give you thanks. End my suffering.

I'm sick of explanations. I'm sick of you. I'm sick of the dramatics. Why. Why give birth when you don't intend to look after.

Why half-heartedly seek forgivement only after wrongs are done. Fun to you?

Go on. If I don't need your love, I don't need your hate. What is home but an emtpy shell. Where relationships are only bonded by the works of blood. I'll give a hundred of these for a true relationship, blood or no blood.

Raising someone up doesnt give you the right to push them around like some flubby dog. Parenting tough? Don't give birth then. Supporting someone tough? Don't give them false hopse and support them then. Why break "two" hearts and cause all these pain.

We love family.

2006-10-03T23:41:00.000+08:00

Was off to study with Fe, Sylvia & Naomi today at Junction 8. Fe & Sylvia was coming quite late so me & Naomi were at the library first. Decided to go for breakfast.

We had small chats here and there. And shared the past. It was really alot nicer to know each other better. She has the maturity level that is higher on her age. Can be on par or even exceed Liling's. It just feels nice talking to her.

I was browsing through her archives. Got hooked on the intellectual arguments inside haha. I remembered posting similar stuffs on my blog too when I was younger, but they were so scarce, compared to the years I've been blogging on this. Haha. Am reminded of my irritating style of writing in my archives again. It's lyke tis retardedz can? It's not gr8 and tend 2 be lame. Haha. Oh wells, glad I grew out of it.

Sometimes past events can really shape and mould the people that we become into. For now, it is very important, especially since its the time where most people permanently changed into their future selfs. It is also of importance how we should reach out to them before JC age (mentioned by Pastor).

--

I wanted to type, It's really amazing how.. But couldn't continue after that. Haha.
Stoned alot. Stoned till I was so blurred. It felt terrible. I took the MRT from Serangoon. And alighted at PP! Only realised at the control station. And I had to wait for the MRT again. What I was stoning of, I couldn't remember. Maybe along the lines of what happended today (No not the bag thing haha. Relax Fe).

Pride. An irritating feeling that gets in the way of resourceful thinking. Man has fallen prey to that. Not saying it's bad. But ultilise with WISDOM. Blehs.

--

Yes. To answer your question, Sylvia. When you say, Guys are so full of pride, because they refuse to let people know they are sad. Haha. Sad to say, its not true. By the way, not all guys are like that anyway. Doesn't that contradict your sentence already? Haha.

Some guys refuse to say so. Why? Probably because they wouldn't want their friends to worry for them. Or maybe they dislike being emotional dependant on friends, because they know its a tiring thing. Or maybe they take longer to trust in others. And some, yes, some, are those that are prideful little men.

Reasons are aplenty. Doesn't some girls do the same too? Not letting people know they are sad? Haha.

Maybe this argument is unneccessary but, haha. That's a finger point at guys ah. Random.

--

Gotta end this entry.

God bless =)

2006-10-01T21:59:00.000+08:00

Global Personality Test Results

Stability (66%) moderately high which suggests you are relaxed, calm, secure, and optimistic.
Orderliness (53%) medium which suggests you are moderately organized, hard working, and reliable while still remaining flexible, efficient, and fun.
Extraversion (26%) low which suggests you are very reclusive, quiet, unassertive, and secretive.

Take Free Global Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

2006-09-29T00:10:00.000+08:00

Original
Done by me =)

----

Original
Done by me =)

----

Made one Fe
And a request by Naomi

God bless

2006-09-27T21:42:00.000+08:00

Oh yes. We saw a grey kitten at East Coast.

The kitten likes me. Then Fe & Syl came to disturb it. Yes. And trapped it there by continiously petting the kitten on the body and head. Tsk tsk.

Yes.

The kitten knows how to pray and shake hand too x)

2006-09-27T21:06:00.000+08:00

This feels so crap.

I turn on a DVD for you to watch, and all you ever give me back is some sarcastic comment and scolding?

What's this!

Ya, leave all the good stuff for Chris and the others ya? I told you that I can't lend Chris the DVD cause the DVD is overdue. And you give me this lecture about being ingrate? Why can't you be more reasonable? Ya. if the show is nice AND I still have time before the return date, of course I'll lend Chris. I told you that I lent the DVD to my friend and that she returned late, and what did you say? You say...Oh..rent DVD, then lend friend la. Don't wana lend your family la.

Why the heck can't you be more reasonable? Did you actually bother to ask yourself, if you requested to borrow from me the disc? How in the world would I know you want to lend Chris when we don't even talk.

Do you know these few weeks you are super childish? You do nothing but pick arguments with me. Small stuffs also want to argue with me, and blow it up to Father that side. When you ask me for favors, do errands, you sound so nice. And then why the heck of telling me I have no use?

I'm arrogant eh? I'm retarded eh? It's just such a miracle, cause I thought you lost the ability to speak nice, good, humane words. And there I see you, talking sweetly to Chris, to Mel, To Cass. To Kryssa? Everyone? You can sing praises. And what do you do? Embarass me in front of the family.

I don't wash bowls. I dont fold clothes? Ok. Great. There is a freaking ghost in our house then.

2006-09-26T00:06:00.000+08:00

Haha.

My greatest and warmest appreciation to Fedora & Sylvia.

Today we went to East Coast. We started crapping in the bus and Fedora stole my cards (again) We cycled quite some bit...and stopped at the hangar to watch the sun..that was gonna set. Haha. Rubbish and crap talking. Then cycled closer back to the shop and sat on the tall rocks..and threw stones. And slack. Then we went back to return our bikes..and Sylvia fell down! Bruises everywhere. And man..it was scary. When people cry. Yes. Good thing she didn't. Haha. But...so sorry you fell down..but I still don't know to feel sad or laugh hehs.

Then we sat at another rock and starting crapping. Then the Fedora revealed she stole more cards (again. tsk tsk). And I got a nice card and Famous Amos cookies! From them haha.

So we ate some cookies, watch the excellent evening view. And went back...haha.

Haha. It's just great. Feels great.

===

And Mom got me out for supper. Early supper. Famous Beef Hor Fun at Kallang that area. Superb haha. Then we talked. Haha.

God bless Man!

2006-09-24T21:26:00.000+08:00

HEY Guys! Thanks Again! Especially Ting Wei for the Strawberry Chocs and Spiderman Poster! Haha. Thats like double dose of presents haha.

Was called up by the pastor after worship today, along with Nelson and 2 other people. Then he prophesy about me. Said I was unmanipulative, pure, loyal, follower and leader, talented, passionate and some other things I forgot. He told me I was doubting my own abilities.

He did mentioned extensively that it is because of my following, that makes me a leader. And that I will prosper the leader.

Believe it or not, I was skeptical about it. And I kind of asked..if its really true..let me go up and tell me something thats different. That was yesterday. And now, I'm up there.

God bless =)

Fulfil my destiny

2006-09-23T23:18:00.000+08:00

Haha. Thankyou people! Yes. For that nice shirt!

We went to Sakae Sushi today to celebrate our team's breakthrough!! Haha. Organisers were the Fedora and Sylvia? And me the plannner! Yay. So...basically..it was Fedora, Sylvia, Shermaine, Nelson, Sophia & Me!

And the planner was late by 10 mins. Tsk tsk. Haha. We met at Doby and went off to the OUB Centre's branch of Sakae Sushi to celebrate! With lunch buffet haha! Haha. We were eating non-stop and kept ordering side dishes. Haha. Choba (Btw, Koeans call it Soba?) was good. Then ate and ate till so full.

Then, the the Fedora ah. Took out this present that looked like a DVD ah. And said happy birthday ah. AND it was a PRANK AH. It was the Batman DVD I lent her ages ago ah. There was this note there, HAPPY BIRTHDAY. Yes. So its been long since I saw him.

Then they took out the real present..from Fleshimp. This black shirt. And they insisted I wear it immediately. And it looks good (the shirt).

Mm. Haha. That was today.

Thanks guys...actually more like girls. Haha. THANKS!

God bless =)

2006-09-22T23:32:00.000+08:00

tagged by ttal Naomi, aka Mrs Jeong Ji Hoon

01) single, taken or crushing?

- Single.

02) are you happy with your life now?

- Happy I'll be, savvy? Well life's not so tough on me and I got a God that loves me. What more can I ask for aye?

03) when you meet the right person, do you fall in love with him/her fast?

- No. More of a gradual thing. I know the person le, then see if can click. haha.

04) have you ever had your heart broken?

- Hah..yea..

05) do you believe there are some circumstances where cheating love is acceptable?

- N.O (thats not a smiley)

06) would you take someone back if he/she cheats on you?

- If she's willing to change. But we're never gonna go back to that same level cause trust is lost.

07) have you talk bout marriage with another before?

- Yea..but not about mine. About my best friend's..

08) do you want children?

- yes!

09) how many?

- 2. A girl and a boy.

10) would you consider adoption?

- haha. yes.

11) if someone like you right now, what do you think is the best way to let you know his/her feelings?

- Actually I don't mind if they hand me a box of cookies with a note inside. Preferably self-made. A bottle of orange-flavoured barcadi will do fine too. Haha!

12) do you enjoy getting into a relationship?

- I enjoy being in a relationship only with the one I really love.

13) be honest,what is the furthest you and your ex did?

- No ex

14) do you believe in love at first sight?

- Not really. Haha. Neutral.

15) are you romantic?

- haha. dunno?

16) do you believe you can change someone?

- This survey is getting more and more familiar. With the power of God and hard work, yes.

17) if you could married somewhere,where would it be?

- Orlando, United States.

18) do you easily give in when you are fighting?

- Haha..depends..but most of the time, not that easy. Don't think we'll even fight often haha.

19)do you have feelings for someone right now?

- eh? I'll tell you soon savvy?

20) have you ever wished that you could have had someone but you messed it up?

- Yup

21) have you ever broken a heart?

- Nope. no heartbreaker!

22) if one day your best friend fall in love with the guy/girl you deeply in love with,what would you do?

- If she's really happy with my best friend, i'll let her go.

23) are you missing someone now?

- Mmm. Yes. Though I don' know who.

Now you have to ask 5 of your friends to do this survey in their blogs.Write down their names in the list below.Tag them in their blog to let them know.

1. Tay Kailing
2. Sylvia Chua
3. Tay Liling
4. Benjamin Yuen
5. Shermaine

2006-09-20T19:31:00.000+08:00

Fedora's sketch. Darth Hermes, Darth Helen & Lord Darth

We Are - Ana Johnsson

See the devil on the doorstep now. My, oh my.
Telling everybody, oh, just how to live their lives.
Sliding down the information highway,
Buying them just like a bunch of fools.
Time is tickin' and we can't go back. my, oh my.

What about the world today?
what about the place that we call home?
We've never been so many,
And we've never been...so alone.

CHORUS:
You keep watching from your picket fence,
You keep talking but it makes no sense.
You say we're not responsible, but we are, we are.
You wash your hands, you come out clean,
But you fail to recognise, the enemy is within.
You say we're not responsible, but we are, we are.
We are.

One step forward making two steps back. My, oh my.
Buying pity on the bad boy's back for life.
Lining up for the grand illusion.
No answers for no questions asked,
Lining up for the execution, without knowing why...

It's all about power, by taking control,
Breaking the will, erasing the soul.
They suck us dry till there's nothing left.
My, oh my. My, oh my.

What about the world today?
What about the place that we call home?
We've never been so many,
But we've never been.....So alone.

===

The last lines struck a chord in me.

We've never been so many,
And we've never been...so alone

So many yet so alone?
So few yet so together.

===

2006-09-18T23:11:00.000+08:00

Quote from Naomi's blog]

We have the B2 godfamily!
From my point of view.

Halaboji (Grandfather): Guo Quan :D retard la he.

Halomoni (Grandmother) : TING WEI! WHAHAHA. :) mrs lee joon ki! :D

Ajumas (Aunties) : Fedora, Sylvia, Lucie.

Ajoshis (Uncle) : Nelson.

Appa (Father) : DARREN! :) mr song hye gyo! :D

Omma (Mother) : LYNN! yayness~! (:

Unni (Older sister) : Shermaine! :)

[ Darren is Ting wei's and Guo Quan's son. Lynn is married to him, so she married into the family (:]

Ting wei was screaming that she wanted Lee Joon Ki, and Guo Quan said,

"Look at me! I'll be your Lee Joon KI!"

CLASSIC MAN. We all started laughing like mad.

Then Guo Quan started doing those phoenix eyes, and went around announcing, "I'm LEE JOON KI!"

He turned towards Ting Wei, who was practically choking, and said, "Dear, don't eat like that. Very unhygenic."

We all started laughing, and Ting Wei was grabbing my arm and sinking her talons into it.

GUOQUAN <3 TINGWEI(:

Funny sia.

--

Haha. Thats what hapened last sunday. Sorry. to lazy to write it all again. haha.

All are copyright c.

And that's how Fullhouse can affect the whole team haha.

Not to mentioned Papaya Coconut (Paboya Kokone), which means idiot birdbrain/poultry.

Haha.

2006-09-17T23:17:00.000+08:00

Haha. I realised it's been long since I'd listen to Jay Chou songs. Like after I joined Church. Totally just jumped past his songs man. And that's breakthrough! Cause he's songs are all sad and all that (well, for my collection yea haha). Ya.

==

I learned a new phrase today. It's called Papaya Coconut.

==

Team breakthrough!!!

Team outing!!!

Good food!!

I'm in charge of planning!!!

That means we all get to eat Hainanese Chicken Rice!!

Wooo!!

God bless

2006-09-15T00:37:00.000+08:00

Hello Blog.

I am now updating. Feeling good. It's been long since I felt so good. Not even the computer's amublance ring can affect me now (yes, its ringing cause I punched the CPU)

Hmm. Tomorow is a half school. Not that there are any real lessons since Chinese and SS N' papers are done. We are left with Sciences and History. So school is pretty slack.

Mdm Chong announces that she's bringing us to Comp Lab for tomorow's Chinese lesson. Haha. Thats nice.

School is as usual, recess more quiet now that the Express are having prelims.

Can't wait for the N's to end. Though I'm trying to prepare my Sciences first. It's the only one I need to improve now.
===

I just realised all the prime episodes of Love @ 0 Degrees are on Youtube. Am gonna watch it tomorow man! Haha. Still remember the ending was abit unrealistic.

Played basketball with Ken & Wilson today. We got free 100-Plus from the Auntie cause we won a match!! Lols. Everyone's losng touch though, so many weeks never touch the ball.

Just feel like eating a Macs Breakfast tomorow. Haha.

Signing off

Darren

2006-09-11T23:54:00.000+08:00

I made this. =)

2006-09-11T00:40:00.000+08:00

Eye of gold,
Thigh of blue,
True or false,
Who is who?

2006-09-10T00:42:00.000+08:00

I'm Walking Away - Craig David

I'm walking away from the troubles in my life
I'm walking away oh to find a better day
I'm walking away from the troubles in my life
I'm walking away oh to find a better day
I'm walking away

Sometimes some people get me wrong
When it's something I've said or done
Sometimes you feel there is no fun
That's why you turn and run
But now I truly realise
Some people don't wanna compromise
Well I saw them with my own eyes spreading those lies
And well I don't wanna live my life too many sleepless nights
Not mentioning the fights I'm sorry to say lady

Well I'm so tired baby
Things you say you're driving me away
Whispers in the powder room baby
So don't listen to the games they play
Girl I thought you'd realise
I'm not like them other guys
Coz I saw them with my own eyes
Tou should've been more wise
And well I don't wanna live my life too many sleepless nights
Bot mentioning the fights I'm sorry to say lady

====

I am dead sleepy now. Leaning on my recliner and typing, eyes half closed. Sleepy love pop songs.

I feel so drained out. Today was the last Bible Study we had. Then I stayed back for BM (Building Maintenence?) at 7. Scrubbed every glass panel there is in church, cept for the Art Gallery. Leonard is funny.

We're gonna go Orchard earlier tomorow to support Lynn's sister in Orchard. She didnt say clearly what it was so I think its a performance.

====

Am talking to Leonard now. He's asking me to write a opera. Screenplay or film also can. And I also found out an important bio fact about him. He has mixed blood! Lols. That explains alot right? Haha.

Okays. He just told me he was kidding =x

===

I appreciate what you people/person told me. About my previous post. Ya. You know who you are. Be it three person or one person. Ya. You know what I mean... I don't like to go sappy on the words.

God bless

2006-09-08T22:17:00.000+08:00

The Reason - Hoobstank

I'm not a perfect person
There's many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you

I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
Thats why I need you to hear

I'm not a perfect person
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know

I've found a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you

===

Hello people. We went to study at TPY Macs today. The one beside the library. Was with Fe, Sylvia and her friend. Then they left at 3. So left we two study there for some time. At four, there was an outburst from someone to go to Lucie's house. So we went and studied. I stopped at six cause I was getting tired. And we played with cards. How nice. So I did around..3 hours of study only.

===

Hmm..people ah. If you don't like to be friends anymore, just say so. Let me keep a last respected image of you. You know why I never said this sooner? Because Randy told me, Don't assume that people are never trying to patch back as friends. You'll never know. But seems to me now that you no longer care a ..hmm..bit. Yes. No longer care a bit.

If you wanna rally up people from tuition to dislike or whatsoever, thats perfectly fine with me. I'm over this. If people now still feel that I'm not bothered to go centre, and that I'm not worth being reminded to go to the centre. You guys don't owe me anything for me to ask a favor from you. So..I don't owe anyone of you too.

So people that thinks that way, it's not that I'm blaming you or angry or anything. Maybe it's just cause you didnt know me well enough. Which I don't blame. Hah. I'm only bothered by what my true friends say yea?

If you betrayed me before, and I use that powerful word betray, you know it yourself. If you got jealous and plotted against me before, so be it. If not, congrats, you're just been true to yourself.

Man, this feels so childish. I would be posting this kind of stuff when I'm in Sec 2. Funny how you can make me write this when I'm in Sec 4. Sorry for the sense of sarcastic-ness in this post. Because talking to you wouldnt make no results. Ah yea, so, lets be sarcastic and all that okays?

Thanks for the good time while it lasted. Really. Best times I've had.

Before that let me sincerely thank you people for organizing my "birthday party" last year. It was really nice. Honest. First time my friends gave me a cake yea? But, please please, don't complain it in front of me to others that it costed you a bomb yea? Nobody forced you. =)

===

I feel mean. But yeas, what are they compared to others.

2006-09-04T22:34:00.000+08:00

I need a truckful of chocs now. Cheer me up. Or rather, cool me down.

I

2006-09-02T22:46:00.000+08:00

Today was AWESOME! Breakthrough!!

Pastor Joakim was like..uber cool man! And all the testimonies shared. Lucie's & Samantha's. Today is just so awesome.

I heard God asking me to reach out to Jon Chng. Am inspired by Charleston! One man to take the school. And it grew and grew and grew!

If God wills, tomorow will be even better!

God bless =)

2006-08-31T20:15:00.000+08:00

The beach that reminds me of joy & carefreeness.
Now a stage for me to display my foolishness.
Nightmares about us.
Sick of masquerading, of fighting.

2006-08-28T02:59:00.000+08:00

There, finally linked Naomi.

We're the Korean rockers! Wooots!

==

Downloaded Photoshop CS2. Was meddling with it. Made myself a desktop wallpaper (800x600). For those that don't know what the numbers mean, it is the resolution of your desktop size. Try clicking the image, right click>set image as background or something similar.

Tell me how it is okays? =)

Spidey Wallpaper

2006-08-24T22:21:00.000+08:00

My Full House OSTs' are BACK! Wooo!

==

I'm gonna paint the sea azure blue.
I'm gonna paint the clouds pure white.
I'm gonna paint the sky oblivious black.

I'll be sitting on a lying on a beach chair. It's gonna be a windy night. Just me alone. With my passionfruit blended.

Ah...how nice can dreams be. =)

2006-08-22T13:33:00.000+08:00

Happy Birthday Wilson =)

2006-08-21T23:08:00.000+08:00

Breakaway - Kelly Clarkson

Grew up in a small town
And when the rain would fall down
I just stared out my window
Dreaming of what could be
And if I'd end up happy
I would pray (I would pray)

Trying not to reach out
But when I'd try to speak out
Felt like no one could hear me
Wanted to belong here
But something felt so wrong here
So I pray (I would pray)
I could breakaway

[Chorus]
I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly
I'll do what it takes til' I touch the sky
I'll make a wish
Take a chance
Make a change
And breakaway
Out of the darkness and into the sun
But I won't forget all the ones that I loved
I'll take a risk
Take a chance
Make a change
And breakaway

Wanna feel the warm breeze
Sleep under a palm tree
Feel the rush of the ocean
Get onboard a fast train
Travel on a jet plane, far away (I will)
And breakaway

Buildings with a hundred floors
Swinging around revolving doors
Maybe I don't know where they'll take me but
Gotta keep moving on, moving on
Fly away, breakaway

People, thanks for letting me know I'm not alone. Though I think you guys misunderstood my point. What I meant was only refering to life during school now. Anything outside school is okay. But thanks still, for letting me know you care.

===

We gathered for dinner at church last Sunday after service. KFC meal. Haha. Then Nelson wanted to sabo Sylvia by playing Spin the Bottle: Truth or Dare. Ended up becoming a big CG game haha.

Was dared into making Jeremy say a certain response back to me. Namely "I Love You". Lol. Well, its better than doing some silly dance haha. As Nelson knows ;).

===

God bless =)

2006-08-19T01:53:00.000+08:00

Hello Blogger. I'm back at 1.45am

I was about to sleep. But somehow I couldn't. So went to computer to listen to my songs. Then did my QT/Prayer while playing From The Inside Out. 8 minutes only =( . Must try longer next time.

I just had to get up, listen to music and think about stuffs. I worried that it's gonna be an illness haha.

I really miss my Mp3. I lost the outside cover so now its only serving as a thumbdrive. If only I still had it, wouldnt be hearing my gramps chanting away now about using the comp now.

===

The addiction of sad songs. You just seemed to sink deeper and deeper into that ocean of darkness. Like self pity, and trying to over-relate the song towards your life.

Another thing is, when I heard songs from the radio last time when I was in P2, I used to think that all songs were sad. Thats prolly because I was listening to a chinese channel haha. Chinese songs have a tendency to be alot more sad than their English counterparts. And so do some eurobeat I guess. Thats what I feel.

When I hear eurobeat, I feel like a leaving home feeling and being all alone, on a bike. Lol. And yups, its on a Harley Davidson.

===

Haha..I was thinking about BGR and I realised. Why do I feel that, I can commit myself towards a earthly relationship, but not as much when it comes to my personal relationship with God.

At least I don't go to God just when I need him now.

===

To whoever that is in tuition that reads this. I'm not sure how many of them are left. I used to have 2 regulars. But somehow it slowly became one.

I feel as if being knocked back to square one now. Like the time before I met Angela.
Maybe the feeling of being alone has sunk in again. Yes, there is something different because I have God now. But in school hours, it feels that bad. I'm not sure whether it's me thats causing everyone to boycott me. The ones I talk to now are shallow aqquintance. Those that I never have a deep friendships with.

And thats how I feel in tuition now too. Haha. Kinda regret the "loner" image that I give out now.

Towards Weisong. The only times we've talked are about tuition times. Haha. I suppose we really lack the common topics to talk about huh.

Towards Vinson. I don't know why you are ignoring me. If there are any insecurities that you might feel, why don't you talk to me about it?

Towards Wilson. Somehow he's the one I feel most comfortable with now. Though he's not a very close friend. At least when I'm around him, I don't feel pressured.

Hmm..I starting to sound like Kenneth in his entries already. Thats bad. I shall have a disclaimer here.

I don't hate the world nor eat my friends. I love to form friendships (genuine), not for the sake of using them as stepping stones for my own self advancement, but as a true friend. I belive they exist with effort to maintain them. I have a God I'm learning to love. And yes.. maybe I'm trying to seek attention (thats the second good point of blogging =) )..

God bless =)

2006-08-17T20:13:00.000+08:00

I was sitting at the MRT steps thinking.

I suppose there is no shortcuts to any kinds of relationship. It all boils down to commitment to keep the relationship going.

Can money really bring happiness? Isn't it all too soon before Man becomes a slave of money instead of the other way round? We are already slaves of time. Where are those days like kampong? Everyone strives to be better than themselves now. In a way, it's better.

But will they be tempted more, when they know more?

It is always known that money brings power, but not happiness. Then why do people still do that?

===

Just feeling down lately.

Folding cranes..

2006-08-16T19:33:00.000+08:00

Happy Birthday!

Tay Kailing & Nadine! Haha.

Enjoy ~

2006-08-13T21:44:00.000+08:00

Our Teaser Poster by Shermaine!

Service was great! Girls like men that smiles? Lols.
Then it was something like what we had my first CG meeting. Pastor was sharing about the "right" kind of relationships (friendships). How the right r/s can bring you beyond your own capabilities. How right r/s serve not to carry you till the end, but to allow you to walk with your own strength.

It also says how the wrong r/s can drain you. And though it's bad to have this kind of r/s (like Abusive R/S that takes adavantage of you), you must not be influenced by it. Instead, you should love them too and try to encourage them to come to church and get them saved.

--

How is the poster by Shermaine? Haha. Bring It On Sunday was great.

I selected to be in Chew Ting's team again haha (like on Kit Kat Sunday)

We had our fair share of challenges. I took part in some. Firstly, got thrashed by Gang Yuan in arm wrestling. Haha. Well..every team member was supposed to take part ma.

Then we had shouting challenge (referee'd by Kawah using a super high tech Decibel-meter).

We also had a "Retrieve The Apples From The Water" challenge. Basically..a bunch of apples were thrown into a bucket-full of water. Cause it was a surprise challenge, then our team selected the wrong member for this (we had a young girl for that =/ ). Then I took over her for that challenge. Kinda went crazy and dived for all the apples. Resulting in ....painful collar bone, wet face/hair and of cause, ear block!

Guo Quan was another super diver! He was the first man! Haha. Dived till so enthu! Kudos to him.

But.....we lost in overall score and had to do two forfeit. The first was to retrieve six paper clips from a container of dunno-what (they covered the top). Then it was kinda slimy and all that. You could feel something moving inside. Cockroachers..grasshoppers anyone? Fear Facto! Anyways we suceeded in that.

Then came the worst..Waterbread! We had to eat a bread each that is socked in a pail of water. And they were super soggy and weird tasting. Yups..

But give us a clap for sportsmanship yea? We were all enthu! Haha.

--

That was our exciting Sunday. Filled with fun, joy, disgust (Fear Facto), and of cause..water!

--

TKL: Thanks for the note.

God bless =)

2006-08-09T15:23:00.000+08:00

Went to J8 yesterday to meet up with Fee & Sylvia for lunch. Browsed through the CD shops. Then we headed for Esplanade. Stopped at HMV to take a look too. So many series and shows that I wanna buy haha!

Went up the Esplanade library for light reading. Was actually suppose to watch fireworks there. But later, we decided to have dinner with Fe...and her parents.

Haha..it was abit scary. I think the parents more or less must be thinking why am I always with them lol.

Then Fee's parents treat us to Fish & Co. Expensive food. Didn't dare order anything ex. Haha. And Fee's parents started to "interview" me (quoting from her parents directly). Then they assure me that it was a normal proceedure cause Sylvia went through it before.

It was scary when the meals came. Cause once in awhile, Uncle would turn and give me a glance, as if wanting to initiate a chat. But I just looked in front and stoned. So nervous.

Haha..but it was a good meal. And I thanked them for the dinner.

God bless =)

2006-08-08T11:31:00.000+08:00

Haha..at home now. Was suppose to wake up and go to the school's Nation Day Eve Celebrations. There's boxing. But overslept haha.

The song From The Inside Out is really nice...

===

Can two person with two totally different views become best friends..or even friends?
Sounds like a Professor X - Magneto case to me. Wasn't that why co-founder of Hogwarts, Salazar Slytherin, left the school too?

Blehs..probing too much into fiction for a real life answer.

===

Talked with Sylvia yesterday. She's sandwiched between Kenneth and me. While we were talking..something hit me. How come I feel bad upon hearing Kenneth is coming to church?

It's not that I don't want to see him accepting Christ. Maybe it's because I don't know you guys (people in church) that well yet? I feel insecure already.

Had a trash out with Kenneth yesterday. He insisted that we have two totally different views on friendship. He says I think simply. He says I don't understand that pain and helplessness of losing a gift from a loved one.

If you can flare up and just smack someone's (someone is your friend for 7 years) face with your shoe. Okays, you tell me its sentimental.

If thats the case, I would have been able to smack your face till it's black.

Is it because you know I am tolerable, thats why you kept pushing jokes further and further? So much that when I flare up, it becomes my fault too?

You said, I don't do anything to make people dislike me. But have you done things to make your friends dislike you? I'm not the only one. Sam's not the only one. Ivan is not the only one.

You say you mean things as a joke. But do you know how hurtful it can be to people? And we tell you that. You say sorry and repeat it later. What's your definition of sorry?

You tell me about primary school stuffs. Didn't I go through that too?

I don't know how to talk to you le. Leave it to Sylvia bah.

2006-08-03T22:05:00.000+08:00

Slipped Away - Avril Lavigne

Na na, na na na, na na
I miss you, miss you so bad
I don't forget you, oh it's so sad
I hope you can hear me
I remember it clearly

The day you slipped away
Was the day I found it won't be the same
Ooooh

Na na la la la na na

I didn't get around to kiss you
Goodbye on the hand
I wish that I could see you again
I know that I can't

Oooooh
I hope you can hear me cause I remember it clearly

The day you slipped away
Was the day I found it won't be the same
Ooooh

I had my wake up
Won't you wake up
I keep asking why
And I can't take it
It wasn't fake
It happened, you passed by

Now your gone, now your gone
There you go, there you go
Somewhere I can't bring you back
Now your gone, now your gone
There you go, there you go,
Somewhere your not coming back

The day you slipped away
Was the day i found it won't be the same noo..
The say you slipped away
Was the day that i found it won't be the same oooh...

Nah nah, nah nah nah, nah nah
I miss you

===

Had lunch with Fe, Syl & Ting Wei today. Damn hilarious man!

Hmm..some people need a reality check. Others need a mirror.

But wait...what's the point of giving someone a mirror when he doesn't want to look at himself in the first place!

Patience is running thin, my young ones.

2006-08-02T20:13:00.000+08:00

I'm sick and tired of this. I expect my Dad to call over soon. Give this big big lecture on why I'm not showing respect and being a defiant kid, after what my Gramps is gonna tell him. Shall continue. Expect him to call between my entry.

You know why is all started? Just because I slid a box of matchsticks to my Gramps to the kitchen. Then she makes this big hoo-haa. Says the dam usual load of hurtful stuffs. Then asked me to get the hell out of the house. Went to my Mom's house to see if she's there to complain to. And calls up my father. Exagerrateed the whole story to him. She makes it sound that I "threw" the matchstick to her cause she did that to me in the past before.

===

He just called. You now what he told me? He asked me why I slid the matchsticks to my Gramps instead of walking over to pass it to her. I asked him what's wrong with that. He told me it's equivalent to throwing a book to my teacher when my teacher asks for a book. He used a book to compare with a small box of matchstick. Fine.

Then he asks me what the school teaches me now. Ask me if the school teach me to be disrepectful to my elders. He insist that I'm the king of the world and I'm not wrong. He ask me if I will revenge back just because the elders did so. He said, " So when I hit you last time, it means you can retaliate?".

He then ask me if I am okay if my son next time do the same to me (matchsticks). I said, I will be. Then he just says, Ya..like that you win la. Before I can even reason with him why the quarrel started, he hung up on me.

===

Respect is something that has to be earned, not taken for granted. You can call me a ungrateful unfilial son that way but, picture yourself in my shoes.

Your gramps get angry over stuffs and tries to find fault with you. You pass her your worksheet cause she wanted to see it. She just fling it to the floor (when you're within an arm's reach) and asks you to pick it up and throw away.

How would you feel?

How about cursing all the way to your parent (Mom)?

And it's not as in I'm purposely sliding the matchstick box to her to get back at her? It's just cause its so small and I'm lazy, then I just slide it. I told her what she did to me before. And she goes. I CAN DO THAT! I asked her, "Because you're an elder, that means you can treat people like dirt?" I don't see her doing that to Melissa (Cass's sister)..or Kryssa? Or Chris? In fact she's so quiet when they ask her to keep quiet.

And you got this heck of a tenant that fuels and adds in stuff, when she's not even part of the family.

Where would you find such a father and tenant and gramps? They are so on my Christmas wishlist =) . I bet the world is so jealous they don't have a father, tenant and gramps like mine.

2006-07-30T22:06:00.000+08:00

I got blessed today! $20 from my aunt who just struck lottery! Haha. Half of it gone le..bought dinner at the Bee With Us Sunday. Haha.

Today's sermon hit so hard. It was about what time to do things and what time not to do certain things. About BGR too. Pastor said it was not the time to have a relationship now. It's cause people are still more or less stil changing at this age. And they're not sure of what they want in a relationship at this age yet. Then he said..we should wait till we're older. 20+.

At first I was bargaining inside...18 can le what. Ask God if can stretch the rule abit. Pastor said although its not wrong to start having a RS at this age, it was not a wise decision as we also have major decisions to make (N's, O's, A's). Then I remembered what Pastor said about just obeying God's command and not bargaining with him.

And I also realised. God is the planner of our life. Even if I start having an RS at 18, if its not the one that God has chosen for me, wouldn't it be just a waste of time, feelings and effort? Ya...then I just told God I was willing to wait that long.

===

Then we had our Bee Sunday. It was very fun haha..Had dinner together and played games as a whole zone. And Zone F joined us too in the middle of the games. Only part I didn't really like was the Fill In The Gaps. Jacky tried to pull me to join hem, then Nelson hold me back. And I was pulled in two direction on two arms. Made my arms so red lol.

===

LIBRA
>Very gentle.
>Very romantic
>Nice...when needs to be
>Love is one of a kind.
>Silly,fun, sweet and funny!
>Have own unique sexiness.
>Most caring person you will ever meet!
>Amazing in Bed..!!!
>Very sensitive
>By FAR the finest
>out-spoken somethimes
>love being in long relationships
>very honest
>revengeful..!
>giving
>has to be forced to fight but when they
fight
they dont lose
>Naughty

Took it from Liling's friendster bulletin. Haha. Alot is true? haha. But don't think I will win at a fight. So nub.
===

Today was awesome man! Pity Fedora couldn't make it. Sick eh? Get well soon!

God bless =)

2006-07-29T02:34:00.000+08:00

Guess what? It's 2.30am now. Think its the second time I'm blogging at this time exactly. Haha. And no, I'm not playing Maple. I kinda stopped at 12 for Maple already.

Haha..actually decided for awhile before posting the lyrics. Might give the wrong idea. But here's the song. An absolute must-listen. Another angst-filled song by Nick Lachey.

I Can't Hate You Anymore

An empty room can be so deafening,
The silence makes you wanna scream,
It drives you crazy.
I chased away the shadows of your name,
And burn the picture in a frame,
But it couldn't save me.

And how could we quit something we never even tried,
Well you still can't tell me why.

We built it up,
To watch it fall.
Like we meant nothing at all.
I gave and gave the best of me,
But couldn't give you what you need.
You walked away,
You stole my life,
Just to find what your looking for.
But no matter how i try,
I can't hate you anymore.
...I can't hate you anymore.

Sometimes you hold so tight,
It slips right through your hands.
Will I ever understand?

Radioblogclub link for the song

===

Insecurity?

Haha. I beg to differ. I think it's only human to feel insecurity. It's not just a men thing ya know TKL? Maybe its just a natural response to disfavouring situations or worrying situations?

Haha..am gonna relate to The Little Prince again. Sometimes it's really scary to see adults. The way they "plan" things. Such is the gift of God mis-used by Man.

Never be a pretender. To appear better than you are. It's always better to do what you preach. You say it, you mean it.

===

From what I learnt in life (which is very very little)

Never be naive - These are the ones that are dissapointed with people easily or get stabbed in the back without them knowing till the end.

Be contented - I mean c'mon? That's like the simplest thing to do? For those that can never grasp contentness, are those that will always WHINE about life.

In fact the part about being content pretty sums up everything for a good life =) . Positive attitude. Of cause there are times to be down too. But it's how you channel these negative thoughts and reaction into strength!

Last but not the least, and the most essential. Trust God!

God bless =)

2006-07-27T23:30:00.000+08:00

Here I am to blog again.
Was coerced into playing MapleStory by Ben Yuen. Lol

==

Guess what? Prelims are starting in a week or two. I feel prepared. Maybe not for Ss/History (and Chinese duh!). But the rest are doing good. Gonna finish my Math's 2005 Prelim Paper 2 later to practice.

==

Let me give my readers a riddle today instead. Something fresh rather than my rambling of the mudane life haha.

You're driving along a stretch of road and you see three people. An elderly woman that looks like she's gonna die, your best friend that once saved your life and the woman/man of your dreams. Who do you pick up? (You have to choose one only)

Actually, for me. I would pass my car keys to my best friend and get him/her to drive the old women to the hospital. Then I would take the bus with the woman of my dreams.

How about you? Did you thought of that? =)

2006-07-25T23:19:00.000+08:00

Fort Minor - Where'd You Go

Where'd you go?
I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone.

She said "Some days I feel like shit,
Some days I wanna quit, and just be normal for a bit,"
I don't understand why you have to always be gone,
I get along but the trips always feel so long,
And, I find myself tryna stay by the phone,
'Cause your voice always helps me when I feel so alone,
But I feel like an idiot, workin' my day around the call,
But when I pick up I don't have much to say,
So, I want you to know it's a little fucked up,
That I'm stuck here waitin', at times debatin',
Tellin' you that I've had it with you and your career,
Me and the rest of the family here singing "Where'd you go?"

I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone.
Where'd you go?
I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone,
Please come back home...

You know the place where you used to live,
Used to barbeque up burgers and ribs,
Used to have a little party every Hallowe'en with candy by the pile,
But now, you only stop by every once in a while,
Shit, I find myself just fillin' my time,
Anything to keep the thought of you from my mind,
I'm doin' fine, I plan to keep it that way,
You can call me if you find you have somethin' to say,
And I'll tell you, I want you to know it's a little fucked up,
That I'm stuck here waitin', at times debatin',
Tellin' you that I've had it with you and your career,
Me and the rest of the family here singing "Where'd you go?"

Nice song. Sad sad song. Haha. Me and my sad songs.

Just downloaded back abit of my old songs. Get ready to be emo man!

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A twist of fate and you brought to me a best friend I could never have found on my own. Blessing in disguise? I guess haha.

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I wanna watch 44 sunsets in a day. And I shall invite someone to watch with me. Just one.

God bless =)